Dolls and Chicks Win Big on Opening Night of ToRD’s 2017 Season


There was an energetic crowd at the Bunker for Toronto Roller Derby’s 2017 season opener. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Toronto Roller Derby kicked off its second decade last night in front of a packed track at the Bunker. With revamped rosters and many new faces on the league’s four home teams, there were a lot of questions coming into the season opener and although the games lacked the parity seen in many of last year’s regular season showdowns, all four teams gave something for their fans to cheer about.

Death Track Dolls 247 vs. Gore-Gore Rollergirls 105

It was the 16th of March in 2014 when Rainbow Fight last strapped on the quads in a Toronto Roller Derby game. The sanctioned season opener between the ToRD All Stars and the Killamazoo Derby Darlins was Fight’s WFTDA debut and despite loads of expectations, she did not disappoint. Joining a deep jammer rotation that had made waves in the 2013 Division 1 WFTDA playoffs, Rainbow led the way in scoring with 110 points over the course of six jams, part of an overwhelming ToRD attack, but then what seemed a simple hit in a hard-hitting affair changed everything.


Rainbow Fight had a big impact in her return to ToRD after a two-year absence. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Diagnosis: lacerated kidney. It would be more than a year before Rainbow would return to the track, this time back with her hometown league, St. John’s 709 Derby Girls. And on Saturday night, the long road back continued when she joined a rebuilt Death Track Dolls team that she had last laced up for in a record-setting 2013 season. Although she saw limited action with the star in the season opener, she was a force in the pack and part of a well-rounded Dolls performance that caught many by surprise with what turned out to be a one-sided victory over a Gore-Gore Rollergirls team that they had not beaten in two years.

The Gores actually got out to a quick start, opening up an early lead of 14-5 that they built to 18-9 before a topsy-turvy fifth jam in which the teams traded jammer penalties, and saw Dolls’ rookie jammer (but former Vipers’ standout) Scrappy pick up 10 points to help her team take its first lead. The teams continued to match each other blow-for-blow over the next few jams with the Dolls opening up a slight 14-point gap. The Gores took their first timeout of the game, and it sparked something in the team as veteran-jammer Beaver Mansbridge followed up the break with a 19-point jam that saw the Gores retake the lead 52-48.


Dolls rookie ARRRguile looks to open a lane held by Gores Commander Will Wrecker and Santa Muerte. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

The lead, however, would last precisely one jam. And a few minutes later, with the Dolls up 10 and the Gores threatening, Rainbow Fight donned the star for the first time, picking up a casual 24 points (in part due to some excellent blocking—this was not a powerjam) to give the Dolls the biggest lead of the game (90-56) and one that they would not relent the rest of the way.

The Dolls dominated lead-jammer status in the first half 12-5 (extending that to 23-12 overall) which forced the Gores into numerous star-pass scrambles (the Dolls did a better job of separating the pivot and jammer in the second half). However, the game was truly put away over the first seven jams after the break: leading 105-61 at halftime, the Dolls dominated the Gores over that opening stretch, outscoring them 56-11 and effectively putting the game out of reach.

With significant turnover in the off-season, the Gores were experimenting with their jammer rotation using Royal City transfer Thighlight of Your Life (22 points and 40% lead percentage) and Vipers graduate Mina Von Tease (12, 30%) significantly, but got their most steady performances from the returning jammers Beaver Mansbridge (33, 50%) and Murdercat! (30, 33%). The pack was led by veterans Santa Muerte (beginning her eighth season with the Gores), Viktory Lapp, and Stabbey Road, but also featured great play from improving Tara Bush and from Dolls’ off-season transfer Commander Will Wrecker, who delivered a number of heavy shoulder hits to her former Dolls teammates. They also got some solid play from Durham Region transfers Psycho Magnet and Hatin’ McWrath.

The Dolls, meanwhile, were led offensively by Holly Rocket (78 points, 75% lead percentage), with scoring spread out evenly among the other members of the rotation: Scrappy (35, 73%), Bat Ma’am (34, 50%), and in quality (but limited action), Rainbow Fight (49, 100%) and Ellen Rage (45, 60%). The pack has remained mostly unchanged from 2016 anchored by the aforementioned Rainbow Fight but also veterans DaSilva, Wheatabitch, Getcha Kicks, and Dawson (back for her Doll-record ninth season) but bolstered significantly by off-season transfers Kate Silver (from Mad Rollin’ Dolls) and Candy Crunch (Montreal).

Smoke City Bandits 94 vs. Chicks Ahoy! 266

In the biggest off-season change in the league, the Smoke City Betties (formed pre-ToRD in 2006, and one of the first flat track roller derby teams in Canada) changed their name (but not their look), debuting as a rebranded Smoke City Bandits at the season opener. Meanwhile, the team that saw the least off-season turnover, the defending champion Chicks Ahoy!, picked up exactly where they left off after last year’s championship run. And while the Chicks dominated the first three quarters of the matchup, the Bandits showed that they could still be a team to watch in 2017 as they refused to quit and roared back in the end, outscoring the champs over the final fifteen minutes of the game avoiding what was beginning to look like a record-setting win for the Chicks.


Bandits jammer titmouse tries to evade a hit from Francesca Fiure. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Despite the plethora of new faces, it was cagey 8-year veteran titmouse who got things started for the Bandits (returning to the jammer rotation after a year spent in the pack), picking up a quick 3 points to give her team an early lead. However, it was another veteran, twelfth-year skater Boxcar, who got the Chicks on the board with a (fitting) 12-point jam that gave the Chicks the only lead they’d need.

It was steading sailing for the Chicks over the next 45 minutes or so, holding the Bandits scoreless over streaks of seven jams and then four jams twice on their way to a 126-30 halftime lead. One thing to note, however, was how clean the game was in terms of penalties with the Chicks picking up only four and the Bandits picking up seven (with two being to jammers resulting in 12-point and then 18-point jams), resulting in a fast-paced and quickly played opening thirty.

Riding a very experienced jammer rotation (unchanged over last year’s championship run) and some solid pack work, the Chicks looked to be every bit in championship form to kick off the second half, going on a thoroughly dominant thirteen-jam run in which they outscored the Bandits 94-2, building an incredible 220-32 lead.

However, it was then that things changed.

The Bandits picked up the team’s first power jam midway through the half and once again it was veteran titmouse who put down 9 points in her team’s biggest jam of the game. And suddenly, the Bandits were rolling.

Looking more and more together in the pack, Smoke City held the Chicks scoreless for six straight after the power jam, while wracking up 31 of their own and although they couldn’t contain the Chicks the rest of they way, the Bandits continued their best sustained play of the game straight through to the end, outscoring the champs 62-46 over that stretch (accounting for two-thirds of their total points).


Chicks jammer Boxcar, caught up in a swarm of skaters, scored 72 points on a 100% lead percentage. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

For the most part, both teams stuck to a pretty tight four-jammer rotation, and because of the lack of penalties in the first half, the same jammers faced off throughout the first thirty. Rookie Killa HurtZ (28 points, 45% lead percentage) had a strong debut for the Bandits, going toe-to-toe with 2016 league leading scorer Monster Muffin (72, 58%), who was held to a 50% lead percentage in the first half. Boxcar (72, 100%) had the best game among the jammers, getting lead nine-straight times before shifting into the pack and finishing with an impressive 6 points per jam average. Second-year skater Banshee (53, 58%) was third in team scoring with Chicks scoring rounded out by Sleeper Hold (49, 46%). Along with Killa HurtZ  and titmouse (26, 62%) the Bandits offence was anchored by Royal City transfer Brawnson (27, 33%) who had an impressive debut. After a slow start, long-serving veteran (but only second-year jammer) Genuine Risk rounded out the scoring, picking up 11 points in the second half.

While both teams are still dealing with pre-season injuries to key skaters, the deep Chicks pack was led by current longest-serving Chick Robber Blind and anchored by the incredible pack play of Rosemary’s Rabies (who despite an already long career still seems to get better and better every season), Vag Lightning, Annguard, Francesca Fiure and returnee Sammy Destruction (formerly known as Hyena Koffinkat), who also put up 21 points in limited action with the star.

The Bandits were also led by a core of veterans around whom the team is rebuilding its pack: Morton, Jamm’herhead Shark, Lowblow Palooza, Fight and Anne Bulance were all key contributors, while Rideau Valley transfer pivot Jessica Rabid led the way for the newcomers.

Nerd Glasses

*The game was broadcast by RogersTV Check local listings for replays.

*Next up for all four teams is a February 11th double header that will see the Dolls and Chicks square off for first place, and the Bandits and the Gores go for their first win of the season.

* All stats are unofficial.

End-of-year Power Rankings: December 2016

Captain Lou El Bammo, Dick Dafone, and Derby Nerd periodically rank Canada’s top A-level travel teams. Read the the mid-season 2016 (June) Power Rankings here.

1. New Skids on the Block (Montreal Roller Derby)Montreal Roller Derby: New Skids on the Block  – After stumbling against Philly at ECDX, mid-season roster changes shook up the team chemistry, and after it had time to settle, the Skids knocked off Bay Area to become the first Canadian team to advance to WFTDA Champs where they put a scare into Angel City in the quarterfinals, which was enough to secure top spot. (1 / 19)
2. Terminal City All Stars (Terminal City Roller Girls)Terminal City All Stars
 – Despite the fifth place finish in their D1 playoff, it could be argued that Terminal City had a better playoff tournament than Montreal. They lost narrowly (164-162) against Philly before cruising through the consolation bracket. Their spot in the top 2, well ahead of the competition, remains secure. (2 / 18)
3.Calgary All Stars (Calgary Roller Derby Association)Calgary All Stars Logo  Although a 5th seed, Calgary tore through its D2 playoff tournament, including knocking off top seed Charm City along the way to finish in the top spot in the playoff. Finishing third overall in WFTDA’s Division 2 is more than enough to hold on to third spot. (4 / 45)
4. Misfit Militia (Orangeville Roller Girls) Misfit Militia Logo  +1 Went 6-1 in 2016 including a 147-144 unsanctioned win against D1’s Queen City. The teams only loss on the season came against an ever-improving Toronto Men’s Roller Derby team (200-159). However, their obvious talent and lack of WFTDA ranking continue to make top-level competition hard to come by. (3 /-)
5. Rideau Valley Vixens (Rideau Valley Roller Girls)Vixens Logo +1 A 4-7 regular season saw the Vixens tumble out of the D2 playoffs. However, the bright side is that many of those seven losses came against top-flight competition including the likes of Montreal, Jacksonville, and Philly. It was an incredibly challenging schedule that may have them currently under-ranked and that could pay track-experience dividends in 2017. (10/93)
6. E-Ville Dead (E-Ville Roller Derby)


unranked They’ve risen from the dead once again! E-Ville has been in and out of the Top 10 over the years, and now reenters once again, surging into the middle of the pack for the first time since last year’s end-of-season rankings. E-Ville had an incredible year with a record of 8-1 including victories over Top-10 Winnipeg (207-132) and Watch-Listers Mainland Misfits (279-89). The team’s only loss on the season was to provincial rivals and D2 bronze medalists Calgary (241-114).  (5 / 91)
7. All Stars (Winnipeg Roller Derby League) winnipeg logo  +1 Winnipeg inches forward a spot but gets stopped in its tracks by surging E-Ville (who defeated them 207-132 to earn the spot). The All Stars do hold their spot ahead of Muddy River based on strength of schedule. They went 8-5 on the season, helping them move to their highest WFTDA ranking yet. (9 / 84)
8. Lumbersmacks (Muddy River Rollers)Lumbersmacks Logo +1 The little league that just keeps going. Muddy River’s consistency over the past few season has been incredible given their size and location. This year they travelled far and wide once again compiling a 6-4 record along the way, including early season wins over Capital City and Quebec. A big late-season loss to Orangeville’s Misfit Militia was unsanctioned and didn’t effect their 16-spot jump in the WFTDA rankings.  (11 / 85)
9. Dolly Rogers (Capital City Derby Dolls)
Capital City Derby Dolls Logo
+1 The Dolly Rogers capped off their 5-4 season with a massive sanctioned win against Central NY that helped their 8-spot jump in the WFTDA rankings. Narrow wins against teams just outside of the Top 10 allow them to secure their spot and nudge forward, finally moving out of the long-held 10 spot. (8 / 106)
10.Tri-City Thunder (Tri-City Rller Derby)Tri-City Thunder Logo  -6 Tri-City had an up-and-down year in 2016, eventually finishing with a 5-10 record. After a promising two and one start (including a rare win over Toronto), Thunder lost seven of eight regular season games the rest of the way. A decent playoff run saw them improve their 9th place seeding to 6th in their D2 tournament. However, yet another off season shake-up to the jammer rotation means that Tri-City’s rebuild will be continuing into 2017. (6 / 57)

The Rankings

No changes to the Top 3 as Canada’s lone WFTDA playoff teams remain at the top of the sport in the nation. Montreal retains top spot based on an incredible performance at the WFTDA Championship tournament, playing, arguably, the team’s best game of the season against a very good Angel City team. After reloading their roster in 2016, The New Skids on the Block also look very good to remain atop the nation’s power rankings in 2017 as well. It remains to be seen whether Terminal City and Calgary (who became only the second team to win a Division 2 playoff tournament) can push through some expected 0ff-season roster changes to remain at their current levels.

The rest of the list has gone through some shifts and changes. Most notably, for the first time in the history of these Power Rankings, Toronto has dropped out of the Top 10. Although leagues like Orangeville and Muddy River are proof that size doesn’t always matter, the reality is that Toronto is simply too big and too deep to keep down for long and expect a slow but steady rise in 2017 as the All Stars rebuild. This drop, however, made room for a resurgent E-Ville. For the second year in a row, the Edmonton-based team makes an appearance on the year-end rankings. This time, however, it should be sustainable as the E-Ville Dead have the roster to remain in the conversation through 2017. The final major shift is with Tri-City. Thunder sees itself tumble to 10th place. The team had a solid 2016, but some post-playoff roster changes will see the team need to rebuild its offense once again.

Orangeville, Rideau Valley, Winnipeg, Muddy River, and Capital City all hold steady, nudging upwards based on Toronto’s and Tri-City’s dips.

The Watch List

Anarchy Angels (Mainland Misfits Roller Derby) (12th)

Les Duchesses (Roller Derby Quebec) (13th)

Brute-Leggers (Royal City Roller Girls) (14th)

Northstars (Rated PG Rollergirls) (15th)

ToRD All Stars (Toronto Roller Derby) (16th)

The A Team (Eves of Destruction) (18th)

E-Ville and Toronto have switched places on the Watch List/Top 10, while the Anarchy Angels, Roller Derby Quebec, and Royal City remain on our radars as we close out the 2016 season. However, there are some exciting new editions on the watch list.

The Northstars of Prince George’s Rated PG Rollergirls are coming off of an 8-0 season that saw them rise above the competition with a margin of victory of 158 points. These eight wins included big victories over B-travel teams from Top 10 Terminal City and E-Ville and two of Calgary’s house leagues, proving that they have graduated to a higher competitive stage. Similarly, one of Canada’s oldest flat track teams, Victoria’s Eves of Destruction are finally beginning to tear it up against some quality competition. Boasting a perennially successful local league, the EoD A Team went 5-0 on the season including a victory over the Jane Deeres (Calgary’s B-team) and former Top 10 team Mindfox out of Saskatoon to launch themselves onto the Watch List.

Nerd Glasses

*These rankings were compiled by the Derby Nerd, Captain Lou El Bammo, Dick Dafone

*These are the final Power Rankings of the year. Read the mid-season Power Rankings here.

-Respectful disagreement and debate is encouraged!-

The Neon Army Advances

How Montreal’s New Skids on the Block Became Canada’s First Team to Play for the WFTDA D1 Championship

Photo by Sean Murphy (

1. The Moment

It was set up to be a frantic finish.

With one jam to go in the third-place game of the opening weekend of the 2016 Women’s Flat Track Derby Association Division 1 playoffs, the home team, Montreal’s New Skids on the Block, held a 10-point lead (167-157) over Bay Area Derby.

The penultimate jam had been a wild one; offsetting jammer penalties had necessitated a two-minute jam. Bay Area’s Brawllen Angel had managed to outscore Montreal’s Falcon Punch 13-8 to narrow the gap to 10.

B.A.D., one of the founding members of the WFTDA, had been there before. After appearing at the inaugural Dust Devil Championship in 2006, they had qualified for six of the next nine championship tournaments including the previous four consecutive seasons from 2012-15, finishing third overall in 2013 and ’14.

In a sense, Montreal had been there before as well: never to Champs, but on the cusp. Close enough to feel it and to be crushed by the disappointment of not making it. In the same game just the year before, they’d led Minnesota by as much as 30 points and were still leading late before a 48-18 run over the last seven jams secured the win for Minnesota.

Montreal’s Miracle Whips came to the line with the star on her helmet for the final jam against B.A.D. with memories of the previous year’s late collapse buried behind a straight-ahead focus. April Bloodgate was her jammer-line opponent. The crowd—substantial for a Division playoff tournament—was tense. Eerily quiet. The whistle blew and with blockers in the box, both jammers were able to shake free of the pack at turn one with Whips one step ahead; then the Montreal jammer, with the inside position staked out, threw a shoulder into the unsuspecting Bloodgate, who went down hard and was swallowed up by the swarming Montreal defense. The crowd roared in relief.

Two quick scoring passes extended the lead substantially, but with the Bay Area bench cradling one more team time out in its back pocket, the Skids needed to kill the final minute of the jam, so Whips pulled up on the back stretch to join her depleted pack to bolster the defense. After a second Bloodgate scoring pass—and with all of the Skids’ blockers now back on the track—Whips suddenly skated back from the pack to meet the fast-advancing Bay Area jammer. Whips took Bloodgate’s momentum and ushered her to the outside, finishing her with a little shove; then the drag back began. Whips went back. And she kept going back. And back. She drew the jammer all the way to Turn 4. Waited a second after the jam clock had ticked away for good measure and slowly, with a stone-faced calm, tapped her hips.

The partisan crowd went wild, danced in the aisles, chanted. Across Canada, from 709 in the east to the Eves of Destruction in the west, the jubilant track-side celebrations were matched in living-room viewing parties.

Montreal’s New Skids on the Block had become the first Canadian team to advance to the WFTDA Championship tournament.

2. So Bad It Hurts

On Friday, March 3, 2006 somebody going by the handle MissTheMeaner posted a message in’s online roller skating forum with the subject line “Rollerderby in Montreal.”

She asked, simply, if anyone was interested in becoming part of a roller derby team in the city. The post got exactly one response, seventeen days later, from someone posting as Georgia W. Tush:

“i am! i am!! so bad it hurts.”

In 2006, Alyssa Kwasny had just moved to the big city of Montreal from Thunder Bay to study at Concordia University.

Cover image from the January/February 2007 issue of the Mirror, featuring a preview of Montreal's first game, a pre-season showdown with Toronto's Gore-Gore Rollergirls,

Cover image from the January/February 2007 issue of the Mirror, featuring a preview of Montreal’s first game, a pre-season showdown with Toronto’s Gore-Gore Rollergirls.

Early in that same year, a friend of hers in Chicago had joined one of that city’s roller derby leagues. While the idea of roller derby intrigued her, Kwasny quickly discovered that there was no roller derby league in Montreal. Indeed, her early Internet snooping led her to the realization that there were no roller derby leagues in Canada. She did find MySpace pages and websites for leagues south of the border and was immediately taken in by the riot grrrl imagery and the punk rock aesthetic.

Eventually her online sleuthing led her to the website and a web forum devoted to starting roller derby in Canada. There she discovered that there were discussions about roller derby ongoing in Toronto, Hamilton, Edmonton and Vancouver, and then she saw that lone post about Montreal.

Kwasny, now officially Georgia W. Tush, ran with that MissTheMeaner post, starting a MySpace page and checking out roller rinks. Eventually, after getting enough traffic on the site, she organized a meeting at Foufounes Electriques, one of the city’s most venerable underground music venues.

Fourteen people came to the initial meeting, and the first person through the door was someone Tush already knew from the music scene, Marie-Chantal Trachy, the woman who would come to be known as Trash ’n’ Smash, another key figure in the development of roller derby in Montreal.

Just as Tush and Trash were really getting things started in Montreal that spring, on Saturday, July 22, 2006, at a sold out Burlington arena, the Hamilton Harlots and the Steel Town Tank Girls welcomed the sport of roller derby back to Canada, playing in the first public house league game in Canadian flat track history.

Inspired by the the success of Hammer City’s opening game, one of Toronto’s first teams, the Smoke City Betties, began to consider hosting a public event as well. In the end, they decided on a semi-closed tournament, or a “day of derby,” featuring a tournament of mini-games with the winner crowned Derby Queens of the Pre-Season. These Derby Queens would then take on the host Betties in a full-length regulation contest.

Poster for Betties' D-Day. Held in August 2006, it was the first tournament in Canadian flat-track roller derby.

Poster for Betties’ D-Day. Held in August 2006; it was the first tournament in Canadian flat-track roller derby.

The Betties D-Day took place at George Bell Arena in downtown Toronto’s west end on August 19, 2006. On that day, the formation of the Canadian roller derby community began. For many of the skaters there, despite having skated for months, it would be the first time they had ever seen a flat track roller derby game actually played.

Montreal had not even named teams yet and for this event divided its skaters into two squads, called the Cougars and the Felines. On the track, Hammer City’s established teams, not surprisingly, led the way. But it was Montreal who proved the biggest surprise, playing each other in the best game of the first round (a one-pointer won by the Cougars) before defeating the newly named Chicks Ahoy! out of Toronto in the semifinals.

While they did lose in the final to the Hamilton Harlots, the league’s performance provided a certain kind of foreshadowing for the dominant league it would quickly become.

*                                  *                                  *

Montreal's New Skids on the Block at the 2010 Quad City Chaos (Photo by Derek Lang)

Montreal’s New Skids on the Block at the 2010 Quad City Chaos (Photo by Derek Lang)

In March 2010 Toronto Roller Derby’s travel team, CN Power, hosted what was essentially an unofficial Canadian championship. The two-day tournament, called the Quad City Chaos, featured the four top teams in Canada at the time. Hammer City’s Eh! Team, Montreal’s New Skids on the Block and Vancouver’s Terminal City All-Stars joined Toronto for a round robin tournament.

One of the most anticipated moments of that first Quad City Chaos was the opening game between Hammer City and Montreal. Within the past year, both had become the first Canadian—and first non-US—members of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, which meant that they were going to be a part of the WFTDA’s ranking system and were eligible to compete for a spot in the association’s annual playoffs. This historic game not only contained the first WFTDA-sanctioned game in Canada, but it was also the first between two non-US teams and the first to ever be played outside of that country.

Montreal had been on somewhat of a tear at the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010, playing anyone and everyone and going wherever they needed to go to do so. In the weeks leading up to the Quad City Chaos they’d gone on a two-game weekend road trip to Arizona, followed by a three-game road trip down the east coast of the US, going 4-1 in the process. Although none of the games were broadcast, through textcasts on the Derby News Network and live twitter updates it was clear that Montreal was soaking up new slow-style strategies that were just being developed south of the border and had yet to reach Canada. By the time the Skids rolled into Toronto in March, they had become a changed team.

The Hamilton-Montreal showdown was a very early Saturday morning game at ToRD’s Hangar; there were only insiders and superfans lining the track for this highly anticipated moment. The first hint that something might be different came while watching Montreal begin their warm-up off skates. While it’s since become the norm, roller derby in early 2010, certainly in Canada, was still deeply cloaked in its punk rock attitude and the notion of working out off skates to improve on-skates performance was new. It seemed to many skaters to be a waste of valuable track time. But there was Montreal, running laps around the space, doing leaps and stretches and planks.

Montreal baffled Hammer City and send a clear message to the Canadian roller derby scene at QCC 2010. (Photo by Derek Lang)

Montreal baffled Hammer City and sent a clear message to the Canadian roller derby scene at QCC 2010. (Photo by Derek Lang)

Within a few minutes of the opening whistle of that first game, it was clear that it was not going to be a pretty sight. Montreal dominated from the start; they baffled Hammer City with what at the time was strange play, alternating blazing speed with grinding slowness, an intentional duality that had never been witnessed in the Canadian game before. During the first New Skids power jam, when the Hammer City jammer was in the penalty box, the relentless Montreal blockers isolated a lone Hammer City blocker and then held her behind her counterparts who struggled to stay in play (i.e., to remain part of the pack). The jammer sped by the stopped skaters and Hammer City could only watch it all unfold, bewildered. Whatever game Montreal was playing was not the same as the one being played by their opponents.

To put things in context: within the previous eighteen months, Montreal’s and Hamilton’s travel teams had met twice in thrilling, incredibly closely matched contests. Montreal had been able to pull off both wins – but just barely – with fairly regular, though low scoring, results for the time: 58–48 and then 84–80. A combined difference of fourteen points over two games.

When the final whistle blew in that WFTDA-sanctioned game at the Quad City Chaos in March 2010 in Toronto, the scoreboard read 208–26.

Montreal would go on to beat Vancouver and Toronto with similar ease that weekend. Never before had one Canadian team so thoroughly dominated another, and especially not teams that shared such a similar history. But the game had changed: it had changed quickly and it had changed remarkably and it was obvious that Montreal was at the forefront of this evolution.

Montreal Roller Derby distanced itself from its Canadian peers in 2010, but then again, the team distanced itself from a lot of teams in 2010. The Skids would go on to skate to an 11–3 record that season, notching big wins against Tampa, DC, and Arizona.

By September of that year, the New Skids on the Block made flat track roller derby history when they laced up against their increasingly intense rivals Boston for a quarterfinal showdown in the WFTDA’s Eastern Region playoffs. It was the fifth year of the WFTDA playoffs, and Montreal, qualifying sixth out of the twelve teams in the Eastern Region tournament, was the first non-US-based team to play in them.

This was the second year that the Derby News Network would broadcast the entire playoffs and there was a slowly growing global interest in the games. For pretty much the first time, the derby community was seeing the game being played in a way that was no longer comparable to their local version. The teams in the playoffs, and particularly those top twelve teams that would qualify for the championship tournament, were playing at a completely different level strategically and athletically from everyone else. And because Montreal was involved, there were plenty of Canadian eyes trained on the playoffs for the first time.

Montreal would lose that quarterfinal game to the higher ranked Boston and be relegated to the Consolation Bracket that they were expected to dominate, and for the most part, they did, crushing the Dutchland Derby Rollers from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, by two hundred sixty-five points before Raleigh’s Carolina Rollergirls scored a controversial last-gasp two-point win over Montreal.

Montreal’s appearance would resonate even beyond the borders of Canada. In 2011, London, England, would qualify for the playoffs and the two teams would meet up in the first all-international WFTDA playoff game in the consolation final of the 2011 Eastern Region tournament.

In only five years, Montreal had emerged as a potential flat track roller derby super power.

3. Fresher and Furiouser

Montreal's Arena St. Louis (Photo by Leslie Schachter for The Link)

Montreal’s Arena St. Louis (Photo by Leslie Schachter for The Link)

Walking into Montreal’s Arena St. Louis is for fans of roller derby what walking in to the old Montreal Forum would have been like for fans of hockey. After the closing of Edmonton’s Grindhouse (AKA: the Metro Sportsplex) in the summer of 2014, Arena St. Louis became the single oldest continuously used arena for roller derby. It isn’t a particularly special arena, and despite its location just off Rue St. Laurent in a trendy part of downtown Montreal, is pretty non-descript: A squat, rectangular brick arena that wouldn’t look out of place in any small Canadian town.

In the summer of 2008, on the heels of hosting two successful house league seasons and one of Canada’s first flat track roller derby tournaments (that April’s inaugural Beast of the East), Arena St. Louis hosted Montreal’s recruitment training sessions, also called “fresh meant.” The goal was to get potential skaters from zero skill to ready for competition by the opening of the next season. The annual group of loosely organized skaters would eventually form their own rookie-team called the Smash Squad. It was a process and model that would become standard throughout the sport in Canada, the first step toward becoming a competitive skater, and in Montreal, the first step toward eventually becoming a member of the New Skids on the Block.

The Smash Squad builds into a houseleague-Bteam-Ateam system. The houseleague consists of three teams: Les Contrabanditas (Montreal’s first official team, who debuted in February 2007 when they faced Toronto’s Gore-Gore Rollergirls); Les Filles du Roi (who won the first house league Championship in 2007); and La Racaille. Their B-team, Les Sexpos, has been competing since 2008, virtually as long as the league has had a travel team, and has had continued success, including winning the 2015 B-Cup Challenge and finishing 9th in the 2015 Full Metal Bracket (which was essentially a WFTDA championship for B-teams).

While this is a model that is pretty standard in the sport, in Canada, no league has been able to use this structure to its advantage or replace talent at the top as consistently as Montreal Roller Derby has. From the very beginning, this consistency has been evident, and while over the past eight years they have tinkered with the model (creating more blend between the A and B-travel teams for example), they have held the course and the commitment to consistency has paid off in consistent results.

While their house league hosts the annual Beast of the Beast tournament and the Sexpos and Skids are two of the busiest travel teams in the country, given Montreal’s lack of proximity to other leagues of a similar calibre, the Smash Squad didn’t debut to the larger Canadian public until the summer of 2012. Montreal, by then, had clearly pulled ahead of the Canadian flat track pack, but there was one tournament where the league had yet to make a splash: the Fresh and the Furious.

Montreal's Fresh and Furious debut was a record-setting victory over Woodstock. (Photo by Greg Russell)

Montreal’s Fresh and Furious debut was a record-setting victory over Woodstock. (Photo by Greg Russell)

Spawned from 2008’s Virgin Suicides Brawl, a five-team tournament featuring new teams in established leagues that had been hosted by the GTA Rollergirls, the league resurrected the rookie-focused tournament in 2011 as a sixteen-team double elimination tournament played out in 20-minute games. Taking place over the course of one (long) day on two tracks, the tournament has become the launching point for virtually every skater in Quebec and Ontario. In 2012, Montreal’s Smash Squad entered their first Fresh tournament as virtual unknowns, and promptly opened with a then record-setting 127-10 victory over Woodstock and proceeded to destroy the competition from there, rolling all the way to the championship game.

In the thirty-minute final against Royal City’s Top Herloins, the Smash Squad were trailing for much of the first half of the game and were down 50-42 with thirteen minutes to go. With a power start and some momentum building, the Smash Squad decided to go with a lean, powerful—though sometimes erratic—jammer who seemed loaded with as-of-yet unrefined talent, but who had been inconsistent and had picked up a few penalties in this game already. She promptly powered through Royal City’s defensive wall and along with the help of some good offense, carved up the Guelph defense for a 19-point, game-changing jam. It would be the first of a game-deciding 44 points scored over the next ten-minutes of the game by a first-year jammer named Miracle Whips.

The Smash Squad would go on to dominate that final third of the game, cruising to a 122-61 win. While the team would feature other future stars of the league like Demanda Lashing and Saucisse, the tournament-clinching win had provided the derby community with the first glimpse of the game-changing potential of Miracle Whips, but mostly reminded the community that from the ground on up, Montreal Roller Derby was a step ahead.

4. Mending a Broken Heart

Montreal's home bench at Centre Pierre Charbonneau, site of a 2016 WFTDA Division 1 playoff tournament. (Photo by Sean Murphy)

Montreal’s home bench at Centre Pierre Charbonneau, site of a 2016 WFTDA Division 1 playoff tournament. (Photo by Sean Murphy)

It is probably safe to say that no one thought 2016 would be the year. At least, not by the time playoffs rolled around.

By September 2016, Montreal Roller Derby and fans of the New Skids on the Block had become accustomed to playoff heartbreak; so much so that you could say it had become like a yearly ritual:

  • 2010: Carolina 127 vs. Montreal 125. Although expectations were muted for 6th seeded Montreal in their debut at Eastern Regionals, they were expected to at least improve their ranking, but after leading Carolina for much of the game, they entered the final jam up by 3 only to receive a controversial jammer penalty and give up 5 points. It was a shocking loss considering Montreal had destroyed Carolina (in Carolina) 135-29 during the regular season.
  • 2011: London 137 vs. Montreal 135. The fifth-place game at the 2011 Eastern Regionals was an instant classic and one of the great games of the era. But yet again, a regular season win over London had expectations high for Montreal. After a close first half, Montreal had to overcome a 70-point deficit in the second, coming up just short after a furious comeback. It also just happened to be the first WFTDA playoff game between two non-US opponents.
  • 2012: London 191 vs. Montreal 122.This highly anticipated quarterfinal rematch between third seed Montreal and sixth seed London was won midway through the second half when Montreal failed to field a jammer resulting in a 35-0 London jam from which the Skids could not recover.
  • 2013: Ohio 212 vs. Montreal 149. The path to champs was laid out perfectly for second-seed Montreal, who were upset by sixth-seed Ohio in the semifinals after an inexplicably lacklustre performance. Despite an extraordinary game from legendary jammer Iron Wench (in her last playoff appearance), who jammed 22 out of 43 jams for a game-high 84 points (four other jammers on Montreal skated the other 21 jams), the team looked unprepared and unfocused. Poor clock management on the bench cut short a potential late comeback.
  • 2014: Charm City 143 vs. Montreal 142. This heartbreak came in the Division quarterfinals and it came after leading the game for all but one jam in the second half (and by as much as 31 points with 8 minutes to go). A penultimate 23-point jam from Charm City to take the lead stunned Montreal, who would go on to destroy the consolation bracket by an average differential of 142 points, leaving everyone to wonder “What if?”
  • 2015: Minnesota 162 vs. Montreal 134. 28 points was the difference between a Championship berth and heartbreak last year. The third place Division playoff game was another classic, featuring six lead changes in total. Montreal led by 1 at halftime and then again, 116-112, with 12 minutes to go but couldn’t hold off Minnesota in the waning moments.

Despite the oh-so-close loss to Minnesota in the 2015 Division playoffs, Montreal had to be feeling good about themselves after coming on strong at the end of what was expected to be a rebuilding year.

The Skids were pushed by Canadian teams like never before in 2015, and seemed to have lost their stranglehold on the Canadian flat track scene. In successive games in late April and early May, Toronto had come within 9 points of knocking off Montreal before Terminal City finally accomplished the feat at the Big O with a thrilling 182-177 win.

Terminal City’s win at the Big O tournament put an end to a streak of national dominance that Canada will probably ever see again. Although Terminal had defeated Montreal once before in a shortened, non-regulation game, beginning in July 2008, the Skids had been on a nearly eight year, seventeen-game winning streak against the top teams that Canada had to offer. During that time, Montreal defeated Hammer City (twice), Toronto (six times), Rideau Valley (twice), Tri-City (twice), Oil City, Calgary and Terminal City (also twice); essentially, the cream of the crop of Canadian flat track.

But despite the early season growing pains, by the end of the year, they had clearly distanced themselves from their national rivals and after the playoff success of 2015, hopes were much higher coming into the 2016 season.

And it started off with a bang.

Rideau Valley and Toronto were the first victims of Montreal this year, and despite 13-point and 9-point nail biters in their two most recent meetings, the Skids stomped a rebuilding Toronto team by 363 points in April. By June’s ECDX tournament, Montreal was sporting a 6-1 record with the sole loss coming to London.

Philly handled Montreal with surprising ease in a June showdown at ECDX (Photo by Joe Mac)

Philly handled Montreal with surprising ease in a June showdown at ECDX (Photo by Joe Mac)

However, word on the track heading into Philadelphia was that all was not right on the bench with the Skids, and although they were able—as expected—to handle Boston in their opening game, Montreal completely came apart against Philly in the ECDX closer. After a tight start to the game, Philly went on an early 56-4 run and barely looked back on their way to a surprisingly easy 256-139 victory. Although expectations had been high for a first-ever Montreal win over their rivals, the Skids lacked cohesion on the track, and at three separate times during the game were held scoreless for stretches of at least five jams. While they were lacking injured veterans Jes Bandit and KonichiWow, the team, to put it mildly, looked out of sorts.

After that weekend, behind-the-scenes tension led to a mid-season roster shakeup that saw core veteran skaters Scores Easy and national team member Demanda Lashing  (and up-and-comer Russian Cruelette) leave the team. By the time Montreal rolled into the Division playoffs, the Skids were a team thin on experience. First-year Skids Lau-Rider, Ptite Pouliche and Sneaky Devil all saw track time in playoff games, and as the team prepared to face off against Bay Area in the third-place game, they had just seven skaters on the roster who’d played in the third-place game only a year previous. Al K Traz, Cracker Jass, Why So Sirius and Ti-Coune, all in their first year as regulars on the all-star lineup, were suddenly thrust into major competitive roles in the pack in the biggest game of their league’s history.

While the jammer rotation had retained Miracle Whips and the French national-team skater Falcon Punch (both of whom played the derby of their lives in the tournament), it was bolstered by transfer TerminateHer (from Green Mountain) and the return of Honey Badger after a year skating with Tri-City in southern Ontario.

Bolstered by a raucous home-town crowd at the Centre Pierre-Charbonneau, The Skids got off to a ferocious start against Dallas in the quarterfinals, going on a 44-6 run over the opening 10 minutes of the game. Dallas would not get within 30 the rest of the way. That game was followed by a tough semi-final loss to London, setting up the must-win game against Bay Area.

Montreal's New Skids on the Block moments after clinching their spot at the 2016 WFTDA Championship tournament. (Photo by Sean Murphy)

Montreal’s New Skids on the Block moments after clinching their spot at the 2016 WFTDA Championship tournament. (Photo by Sean Murphy)

Although the roster lacked playoff experience overall, it was anchored by some core skaters who played their hearts out in the game. From double threat Mange Moi El Cul and long-time skater Chees Grater (literally one of the most experienced skaters in the Canadian game; she’d played in that inaugural Hammer City game in Burlington on 2006), to the late-season return of national-team member KonichiWOW, the veterans came to play when it mattered. Surgical Strike was a stalwart blocker, whose seemingly unflappable (and unmoveable) presence on the track acted as both a literal and figurative anchor. But given the situation and the stakes, perhaps the greatest performance came from the sole-remaining original New Skid, Jess Bandit.

After missing most of the season due to injury, not too much was expected of the decade-long member of Montreal Roller Derby and two-time member of the Team Canada, but when it mattered most, Bandit’s even-headed play and veteran poise kept the team in check. She was stunning in the final against B.A.D., elevating her game when it mattered most, reminding the Canadian crowd that she is one of the great blockers in our country’s history with the sport.

At the draw for the 2016 WFTDA Championships in Madison, Wisconsin, a few weeks after the emotional victory, the Skids ended up with arguably the most unfortunate first-round opponent in the tournament: Los Angeles’s surging Angel City Derby Girls. It will be a tough match up, but regardless of the outcome, after such a long, heartbreaking wait, it is one that will be savoured  by not only Montreal Roller Derby and the New Skids on the Block, but also the legions of fans in the Neon Army marching behind them.

Nerd Glasses

*Most of the historical elements in this profile are adapted from Eight-Wheeled Freedom: The Derby Nerd’s Short History of Flat Track Roller Derby. Now available in bookstores and online.

*Montreal is not the first Canadian team to play at the WFTDA Championship tournament. Read a similar profile of the Rideau Valley Vixens, chronicling their march to the 2014 Division 2 championship game here.

Eight-Wheeled Freedom Tackles…RollerCon and the Evolution of Flat Track Strategy

RC 2016 Logo

I’ve done a lot in and around this sport, but this year—for the first time ever—I’ll be heading to RollerCon! There, I will be delivering two seminars on the evolution of flat track strategy.

Perhaps nothing has drawn more ire toward the sport of flat track roller derby than the strategic evolution that the playing surface has inspired. The sport is unique in that its antecedent is an incredibly similar sport played on a vastly different surface. The first six or seven years of the roller derby revival saw a flat track game that was played very much like the banked track versions that preceded it: skate fast, turn left and hit the opposition. It’s the way roller derby has been played essentially since the 40s, and looking back at the game even as early as 1960, modern skaters will easily recognize the sport that they play now.

On a banked track, this strategic simplicity made sense (and still does), but on a flat track, the blazing fast style seemed nearly antithetical; it seemed only a matter of time before a unique game arose organically from the new surface it was played on.

Photo by Derek Lang (

A big focus of the Roller Con seminar will be on the profound influence that the 2009 WFTDA Championship had on the evolution of flat track roller derby (Photo by Derek Lang)

This thesis is at the centre of a few of the chapters in Eight-Wheeled Freedom: The Derby Nerd’s Short History of Flat Track Roller Derby, and at RollerCon 2016, I’ll be delivering an interactive seminar tracing the history of this evolution. The discussion-based seminar will actually be drawn from two chapters in the book, one entitled “The Great Leap Backwards: 2009 and the Defining of Flat Track Strategy” and the other “Jumping Through Loopholes: The Evolution of the Flat Track Rules.” The basic argument made is that from 2003-2009 flat track roller derby was flat track roller derby in name only, while the sport didn’t truly find itself until 2009 when strategies unique to the surface began to emerge. It was a change—as change often does—that inspired fear and often anger and that (admittedly) led to an awkward adolescence on the track that didn’t really get ironed out until 2013.

The controversy around strategy and the massive evolutionary shifts that game has experienced over the past six or seven years actually make roller derby more like traditional sports than the community often thinks: flat track roller derby is such a personal, athlete-driven game that any small changes in strategy and the rules is often accompanied by cries of fear that the game has been ruined. But even just a cursory look at the early days of other team sports shows that the shifts, changes and, yes, awkwardness that accompanied early strategic evolution are quite normal. One example I often come back to is the idea of passing the puck forward in hockey (as opposed to laterally or backwards, as had originally been done): many are surprised to discover that the NHL only allowed for forward passing in all zones in 1929, and only after it had been experimented on and the transition fumbled through in other leagues.

From the book:

It was the beginning of the evolution of the flat track game, when strategies would arise organically from the surface and the elements that went with it – such as boundaries both inside and out, and the ease with which one could change pace and move laterally. It also began a massive evolution in the rules of flat track roller derby, further pushing this new version of the game away from its banked track antecedents.

At the upcoming RollerCon, attendees will have two chances to catch the seminar “The Great Leap Backwards: Denver, DNN, the 2009 Playoffs and the Evolution of Flat Track Strategy”:

Nerd Glasses

*Eight-Wheeled Freedom launched in Toronto on June 20 and is slowing rolling to stores near you (and is available online).

Eight-Wheeled Freedom Tackles…Men’s Roller Derby and the Global Growth of the Game

MRDWC Banner

Later this week, I’ll be heading to Calgary for the Men’s Roller Derby World Cup (hosted by Chinook City Roller Derby). Twenty countries will be playing on two tracks over two days, nineteen of which are trying to unseat the defending champion United States. This is the second Men’s Roller Derby World Cup after the initial event in Birmingham, England, in March 2014. That event consisted of fifteen nations.

The rise of men’s flat track roller derby has not been a smooth one in the community, and understandably so. Eight-Wheeled Freedom is clearly built around the notion that flat track roller derby is a women’s sport, but one that now happens to be played by men. Coming to this basic level of understanding took the community a long time, and it’s an acceptance that is still ongoing. This is the story told in the chapter “Lifestyle vs. Sport: Men, Children and the Grassroots Explosion.”

Why are men’s and junior roller derby equated? Well, the emergence of both happened to occur at the same time, and, the chapter argues, they both emerged when roller derby transitioned from being solely a punk-rock third-wave feminist lifestyle movement into also being a full-on competitive sport.

From the book:

“It may seem strange to equate the entry of men and children into the sport, but the beginnings of both mirror each other in timing. The connections between men’s and junior derby may seem on the surface to be an accident of time, but they are an off-track side effect of the on-track evolution of the women’s game. The fact of the matter is that the growth of these two aspects of the game stem from the same shift in the flat track roller derby community. Men’s and junior derby were essentially given the space to emerge when flat track roller derby stopped being exclusively a lifestyle and started being a sport.”

2014 MRDWC Results

Check out the complete results from the 2014 Men’s Roller Derby World Cup.

One of the key aspects of the rise of flat track roller derby has been the global grassroots explosion, which had never occurred with any other version of the game and which has been key to the accelerated growth of this version of the game. This aspect of the sport is primarily covered in the chapter “Going Global: The Roller Derby World Cup and the Globalization of the Game.” The chapter charts the rise of the global flat track community through the organization—particularly—of the first men’s and women’s World Cups concluding that “within just over a decade, what had started as an all-woman underground American game had become a global, multicultural sport played by everyone.”

Inevitably, this exploration led to the hotly debated topic of flat track’s inclusion in the Olympics (still a long way off) and the developing tension with FIRS (Federation Internationale Roller Sports), which is currently the IOC-recognized governing body of many roller skating disciplines. FIRS, primarily through its relationship with USARS (USA Roller Sports), would like to gather roller derby under its wings, a move that has been met with some understandable resistance from the democratically run WFTDA.

Whatever the future holds for the sport on a global level, the present is establishing a strong foundation to build on. The second Women’s Roller Derby World Cup was even bigger than the first, and the Men’s second addition promises the same growth.

Nerd Glasses

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 7.27.42 AM

Click on image to see livestream preview.

*You can tune in to the 2016 Men’s Roller Derby World Cup: Get the livestream for four days of flat track on two tracks.

*Eight-Wheeled Freedom launched in Toronto on June 20 and is slowing rolling to stores near you (and is available online).

Eight-Wheeled Freedom Tackles…Roll-Out!

Roll Out Banner

Roll-Out 2016: The Pack is Queer represents the 8th year of the Pride-week all-star game put on by Toronto Roller Derby.

When writing a book about flat track roller derby, it’s impossible not to write about the sport’s place within the LGBTQ+ community, nor that community’s profound influence on the development of the game. It is utterly unique in the history of sport and perhaps one of the most significant cultural impacts that the flat track game has had on North American society.


The first Pride-week all-star game was held in 2009 at George Bell Arena.

In Eight-Wheeled Freedom, the chapter “Out Ina Bout” focuses squarely on this relationship. As a cis-identifying man, I was well aware of my limitations in writing about this topic, but as a chronicler of the flat track game, I was also well aware of my responsibility to do so. So while the chapter is framed by my personal experiences with the history of the event now called Roll Out (from 2009’s Clam Slam right through to last year’s Uhaul Brawl), the narrative of the chapter is shaped by the writing of others.

Along with the chapter about the influence of third-wave feminism on the early development of the sport, “Out Ina Bout” is a heavily researched chapter that traces, broadly, the history of the LGBTQ+ community’s relationship with sport. While many writers are cited in the chapter, two of the main sources were E. Nicole Melton, a professor of sport management at UMass Amherst, and Dr. Melanie Sartore-Baldwin, a professor at East Carolina University whose expertise is in diversity-related issues in sport.

From the book:

“Most of the researchers in the field… seem to agree that sport, as an institution, is inherently masculine, to the point of marginalization of all other groups, and it is one that celebrates and encourages not only heterosexuality but heterosexual masculinity in particular.”

This is a challenging starting point, but an essential one in understanding flat track roller derby’s importance in the culture at large. The chapter moves through an examination of the LGBTQ+ community’s relationship with traditional sports, culminating in the creation of the Gay Games (and eventually the World OutGames). However, based on the above assertion that sport is institutionally patriarchal, the chapter concludes that the LGBTQ+ community, despite massive advances forward, remains stigmatized within mainstream sport.

Enter women’s flat track roller derby.

Photo by Neil Gunner (

Read Nerd’s recap of the 2015 uHaul Brawl featuring photography by Neil Gunner.

Although the initial stirrings of the flat-track revolution had its focus squarely on women’s empowerment, the freedom that early flat track spaces provided women from the oppressive limitations of traditional sports institutions very quickly expanded to others and flat tracks became safe spaces for members of the LGBTQ+ community.

As the reach of the sport has broadened and the competitive level has risen, that progressive core has remained. Perhaps because of this—the sport’s ability to operate so freely and progressively within such potentially oppressive constraints—I think that flat track roller derby is the most important sports movement of the 21st Century.

I conclude as much in the chapter as well, ending with a discussion of the 2014 Clam Slam that took place during World Pride and featured singer/filmmaker/cultural powerhouse Peaches as the special guest to blow the opening whistle.

From the book:

“Here’s a competitive game built and shaped by women in the midst of a sporting environment absolutely dominated by men. Here’s a game that has not only welcomed the LGBTQ community but celebrates it, has put it at the core of its growth and has allowed it to shape the nature and attitude of the game. Here’s a sport that has eschewed all traditional notions of what a sport is and how it should be, taken a punk-rock DIY approach and made it work on a national, then cross-border and now global scale. Roller derby, like Peaches, has become a twenty-first century force of nature. And I think our world is a better place for it.”

So this is what I’ll be thinking about when I head to Ted Reeve Arena for Roll-Out 2016: The Pack is Queer; namely, how important flat track roller derby is in general and, specifically, how Roll Out is rightfully one of the most fun, and certainly the most celebratory, roller derby events of the year.

As I’ve said before, this event features roller derby at its purest: joyful, competitive, progressive.

Nerd Glasses

*Doors open at 6:00 PM with the opening whistle for the first (mini) game at 6:30 featuring the Blundstone Brigade vs. the Glitterazzi. Game 2, Team Bi-Yonce vs. Team Gay-Z, kicks off at 8:00 PM. Tickets will be available at the door, or for a discount online.

* You can watch Roll-Out online at!

*Eight-Wheeled Freedom launched in Toronto on June 20 and is slowing rolling to stores near you (and is available online).

Canadian Power Rankings: June 2016

Captain Lou El Bammo, Dick Dafone, and Derby Nerd rank Canada’s top A-level travel teams every two months (or so). Read the the April 2016 Power Rankings here.

1. New Skids on the Block (Montreal Roller Derby)Montreal Roller Derby: New Skids on the Block  –  Montreal had been on a tear in 2016 winning seven of eight and seemingly on the verge of jumping into a coveted three-seed for the playoffs, but they ran into a roadblock in the form of a determined Philly at ECDX (256-139). Nonetheless, the Skids remain well ahead of the pack north of the border.  (1 / 13)
2. Terminal City All Stars (Terminal City Roller Girls)Terminal City All Stars
 – Terminal City’s 2-5 record in 2016 is a little misleading as all but one of the team’s losses has come to a Top 10 team (and the other was a narrow loss to 24th-ranked Helsinki). In a small league all of their own with Montreal right now at the top of the Canadian pyramid. (2 / 21)
3.Calgary All Stars (Calgary Roller Derby Association)Calgary All Stars Logo Calgary has had an inconsistent 2016, as evidenced by the team’s 4-5 record. Injuries and a tough travel schedule may have played into it, but a recent 10-spot jump in the rankings has them poised for their WFTDA playoff debut and should make some noise in the D2s. (4 / 52)
4. Tri-City Thunder (Tri-City Rller Derby)Tri-City Thunder Logo  +2 Tri-City has actually handled its 2016 rebuild fairly well. The team’s busy 3-7 record has given this roster a ton of valuable track experience moving forward. Consistency is the key, and hopefully that begins with the roster. A season ending 150-67 loss to rising Ann Arbor may have just (barely) been enough to hold on to a D2 playoff spot.(5 / 58)
5. Misfit Militia (Orangeville Roller Girls) Misfit Militia Logo Misfit Militia remains undefeated in 2016, including a 147-144 unsanctioned win against D1’s Queen City. However, a recent closer-than-expected win over Capital City shows that the team still has some work to do to make the top flight. (3 /-)
6Rideau Valley Vixens (Rideau Valley Roller Girls)Vixens Logo –2 The 2014 Division 2 runners up are 2-6 in sanctioned play (4-6 overall) on the season, and it’s been a strange 2016. Somewhat surprising wins over playoff-bound Calgary and (potentially) Tri-City are balanced by blow-out losses to Montreal and Tampa. The inconsistent results mean that the Vixens will unlikely see the track during this year’s playoffs. (9 / 60)
7All Stars (Toronto Roller Derby)New CNP Logo  – The bright side of Toronto’s tough 2016 is that they have played a lot of games against some quality competition. The resulting 2-7 record is indicative of the tough rebuild the teams is going through. Although there were some bright spots in losses at the recent ECDX tournament, Toronto will be out of the WFTDA playoffs for the first time since 2013 and have a high mountain to climb to get back. (14 / 63)
8. All Stars (Winnipeg Roller Derby League) winnipeg logo +1 Winnipeg continues its dance with Muddy River and slips up one spot after strong Mayday Mayhem and Beach Brawl appearances see the team’s record sit at 5-4. The two losses at MM were to eventual finalists Oklahoma Victory Dolls and Australia’s Paradise City.   (11 / 99)
9. Lumbersmacks (Muddy River Rollers)Lumbersmacks Logo -1  Muddy River has had a comparatively quiet 2016, and after a 2-0 start, got roughed up at Beach Brawl where they went 1-3 including a blow-out loss to a rising Paris team. After holding steady for a year, the team has continued its slow slide out of Division 2. (7 / 110)
10. Dolly Rogers (Capital City Derby Dolls)
Capital City Derby Dolls Logo
Capital City has had a baffling 2016. Solid victories have been followed by surprising losses and their two differing results against the Misfit Militia show that: a 151-point loss in April was significantly bettered in a 55-point loss in May, a result that secured their place in the Power Rankings.  (10/ 130)

The Rankings

After three straight years of steady competitive growth at the WFTDA level, for the first time since 2012, Canada will have less playoff-bound teams than it did the previous year, a result of some of our larger and more competitive leagues facing rebuilds or having plateaued. There hasn’t been much change in the rankings despite a busy late spring and early summer. The top three holds steady and will, not surprisingly, be our top-seeded playoff teams. Montreal missed out on a prime shot at making their playoff lives a little easier falling in surprising fashion to Philly Roller Derby (even if the loss was not surprising, the ease of it was). If healthy, Calgary could be poised to shake things up in the D2 playoffs.

The 4th-6th ranked teams (Thunder, Misfit Militia, Vixens) are virtually in a dead heat right now, with Thunder surprisingly holding steady despite a massive roster overhaul, the Militia still largely unproven and the Vixens seeming to have plateaued after years of steady growth.
The 8th-10th teams are similarly bunched, although of the three Winnipeg seems to be the most stable competitively. Muddy River can’t quite seem to get over the hump that’s been in front of them for two years now and Capital City, after steadily rising, seems to be plateauing similarly to their cross-city counterparts from Rideau Valley.
Toronto’s sheer size and league depth keeps it from slipping past the 7th spot, but it’s going to be a long road out of the depths of WFTDA’s D2 and a dose of roster consistency will help with this. If the All Stars can stay together for another season and remain focused on travel and training, there is much to build off of from 2016.

The Watch List

E-Ville Dead (E-Ville Roller Derby) (6th)

Anarchy Angels (Mainland Misfits Roller Derby) (12th)

Les Duchesses (Roller Derby Quebec) (13th)

Brute-Leggers (Royal City Roller Girls) (15th)

No real change to the Watch List, but it is worth noting that E-Ville won its WFTDA sanctioned debut in dominant fashion, crushing its watch-list counterpart the Anarchy Angels 279-89, to leap to 6th overall in the Canadian Roller Derby Ranking.

Nerd Glasses*These rankings were compiled by the Derby Nerd, Captain Lou El Bammo, Dick Dafone

*These are the first Power Rankings of the year. Read the final April 2016 Power Rankings here.

-Respectful disagreement and debate is encouraged!-

Eight-Wheeled Freedom Launches in Toronto

8-Wheeled Full Cover

Eight-Wheeled Freedom: The Derby Nerd’s Short History of Flat Track Roller Derby made its official debut at the Burdock brew pub and music hall in Toronto on Monday, June 20.

launch willis

Nerd and Mr. Whistler on stage at the Burdock. (Photo by Alex Willis)

The event, hosted by Noelle Allen, the editor of the book and publisher of Wolsak & Wynn, featured a short reading from the book followed by an interview conducted by Mr. Whistler.

The audience featured current and retired members of Toronto Roller Derby, Hammer City Roller Girls, GTA Rollergirls and  Durham Region Roller Derby alongside members of Toronto’s literary community. In celebration of the launch, All Lit Up asked writer and skater Pain Eyre (AKA: Kate Hargreaves) to share her experiences with the sport. You can read that essay here.

Stay tuned for further information regarding a variety of appearances and readings in Guelph, Peterborough, Kitchener-Waterloo, Calgary, and Edmonton. Nerd will also be running a few seminars on the evolution of flat track strategy at RollerCon in Las Vegas (July 27-31) and then a slightly abbreviated version at Camp Roller Derby in Haliburton, Ontario (August 19-21).

The book should be slowly rolling to retail stores across the country and is available  through a variety of online sources including All Lit Up, Amazon, and Chapters/Indigo.

nerd kev wencer

Nerd and cover photographer Kevin Konnyu. (Photo by Andrew Wencer)


Navigating a Nautical Disaster: Chicks Overcome Early Penalty Problems to Win Fourth Boot

Victory 16 Neil

The moment of victory: 2016 ToRD champs Chicks Ahoy! celebrate the win moments after the final whistle. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

It should have been a disaster.

Over the opening 17 minutes or so of the 2016 Battle for the Boot, the Chicks Ahoy! looked like a team on the verge of a collapse. Over the course of those twelve jams the team had managed only four lead jammer statuses, two of which had been negated due to penalties, on top of that, the team had given up a nearly unbelievable eight power jams. One of their best blockers, Joss Wheelin, had picked up 6 penalties, and the 2016 ToRD regular season leading scorer Monster Muffin had already notched five trips to the box of her own. It should have been a disaster.

Lexi BFB16 Greg

Gores’ Lexi Con scored 26 points in the first half, almost all within the opening 17 minutes. (Photo by Greg Russell)

And yet, with a 65% lead percentage and eight power jams, the Gore-Gore Rollergirls had managed to build only an 11-point lead, so when the seas finally settled, the game was the Chicks’ for the taking. And take it they did. The Chicks eventually righted the sails and took the lead three jams later. It was a lead that they would never relinquish, eventually cruising to a 164-88 victory to become the 2016 Toronto Roller Derby champions.

The historic 10th ToRD Championship was a fascinating game, fast-paced and low scoring, providing a fitting conclusion to what has been an excellent season that saw the re-emergence of the league’s two most successful teams. The Gores, who had upset the Chicks in the page-playoff quarterfinal, got off to the kind of start that they wanted. Although Monster Muffin had given the Chicks the lead with a 12-point opening jam (to the Gores’ 4), a Beaver Mansbridge 7-point power jam stole back the lead for the skaters in leopard print. The Chicks picked up jammer penalties on the opening two jams, then four jams later Muffin took back-to-back back blocking penalties followed by cuts to Boxcar and Pink Slamminade. The procession to the penalty box ended when Monster Muffin picked up a cut and then another back block on consecutive jams.

Chicks Pack BFB16 Neil

Rosemary’s Rabies, Biggley Smallz and Wheels of Misfortune wrap up Beaver Mansbridge; the Chicks defence was the difference maker in the game. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

However, the Chicks’ pack put in a monumental effort during the deluge and seemed to be one step ahead of their Gores’ counterparts all game. Both teams were riding short benches, but the Chicks core contingent of Biggley Smallz, Sleeper Hold, Rosemary’s Rabies and Joss Wheelin’ got extra playing time in the early going and were virtually impenetrable at times, frustrating the Gores’ jammers and constantly unsettling their packs. So when the penalty parade finally ended, the Chicks were poised to take control; and they did so in commanding fashion.

With their jammers on the track, the Chicks held the Gores scoreless for five-straight jams, a stretch that saw them retake the lead with a 16-0 run. The Gores were actually only able to score 10 points over the final half of the first period while the Chicks notched 36 over that stretch. The lead was narrow on the scoreboard at the break, with the Chicks leading 76-61, but the gap on the track was clearly widening.

Jill pass greg

Viktory Lapp attempts to free Jill ‘Em All from Sleeper Hold after a Gores’ star pass. The Gores were forced into 10 star passes during the game. (Photo by Greg Russell)

The old sports cliché is that while offense might win games, defense wins championships, and that was never more evident than in this game. For example, Beaver Mansbridge was dominant this season: second in the league in scoring (197 points) and first overall in lead percentage (72%), but after going 4 for 4 out of the gate for 19 points in the championship game, she was shut down mercilessly by the Chicks’ defense; she went 1 for 7 the rest of the way and managed only 6 more points. Similarly, the team’s leading scorer in the game Lexi Con, scored 26 of her 38 points in the first half, mostly during that opening string of power jams. Indeed, the Gores were held to only 27 points in the entire second half—easily the team’s lowest-scoring half of the season—and 37 points over the game’s final forty minutes.

So sound was the Chicks’ packs that they were able to bench Monster Muffin for the entire second half (she picked up her sixth penalty as a blocker early on) relying on Boxcar (64 points on a 71% lead percentage), who didn’t even begin the season in the rotation, Pink Slamminade (44, 67%), who missed the whole regular season due to injury), and Banshee (38 points), who is playing with a poise that belies her rookie status. It was an impressive performance from the rotation, stepping up to carry the load that Muffin had propped up so formidably all season. And the team also got strong play across the bench, notably from a controlled Vag Lightning, Annguard (playing arguably her best game of the season) and Francesca Fiure, who returned from injury just in time for the Battle for the Boot.

2016 Champs

The Chicks Ahoy! hoist the Boot for a record-setting fourth time in ten years. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

In the game the Gores had three skaters on the track from the team’s last championship win back in 2010, and while Santa Muerte, Chronic and Jill Em’ All played their hearts out, Santa, who missed virtually the whole season, lacked her usual spark on the track, the lack of track time evident as she struggled in the second half, particularly as a relief jammer. The Gores, who battled through serious injuries and inconsistent rosters all season, looked much “looser” on the track than their Chicks Ahoy! counterparts, who did not face the same adversity this season and peaked at the right time, playing their best derby in the semifinals and then finals. Although it should be noted that they were without long-serving Robber Blind, who was trackside due to injury, but who collected her third Boot with the win as she was the sole remaining member of the Chicks’ 2011 championship team.

However, the Gores accomplishment cannot be overlooked. This season the Dynasty qualified for its ninth championship game in ten years, capping an unbelievable run of consistency. Yet the Boot still eludes them and instead, it’s their chief rivals (playing in their also impressive sixth champs), who sail away with the win and claim their record-setting fourth Battle for the Boot victory.

*The game was filmed by Rogers TV; stay tuned to local listings for replays. Also, make sure to check out’s trackside footage.

*The ToRD houseleague season may be over, but there’s lots more derby left to be played in 2016! Next up, on June 30, is the annual Pride Affiliate event newly renamed Roll Out. The D-VAS will be in action at the Fresh and Furious on July 9th.