Cold Cuts and Charcuterie Reigns Supreme as Roller Derby Quebec Dominates Fresh ’15

It was an all-Quebec final at the Fresh and the Furious 2015 as Roller Derby Quebec squared off against Montreal Roller Derby (Photo by Jeff Davad courtesy of Jammer Line Magazine)

So, Canada, in case you haven’t been paying attention, there’s a new flat track roller derby power rising in the east, and it is looking more and more ready to ascend to the top.

On Saturday, Roller Derby Quebec’s Viande Froide et Charcuteries (take a moment to let that great name sink in!) won the Fresh and the Furious 2015 in absolutely dominant fashion, completing a summer season in which the league’s two house league teams finished 1-2 at the Beast of the East and the travel team, Les Duchesses, has been quietly training at a high level, including one unsanctioned game each against Montreal’s two travel teams.

Quebec’s Divacop and Taminator wrap up a Queen’s Court jammer in a first round matchup. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Roller Derby Quebec was already on most people’s radars, especially after the Beast run, but after this weekend’s performance by the league’s freshest skaters, there should remain no doubt that this is the league to watch. It was as dominant a run as we’ve ever seen at the one day, sixteen-team event: Five straight wins with an average differential of 87 points; 584 total points scored (a record), with a per-game average of 117 points; and the second highest scoring single game in tournament history (155).

And did I mention that they managed to do all this with seven skaters?

Rogue D-VAS’ jammer Noodle Kaboodle attempts to get past Thicket blocker Erin Blockabitch in a first round game. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Amalgamated leagues and tiny benches were the story of the grueling fifteen-team, one-day tournament (played on one of the hottest days of the summer at that), with a majority of teams skating with mixed rosters (including perennial powers Toronto Roller Derby, whose D-VAS—mixed with Kingston skaters—finished out of the Top 3 for the first time ever), and while for the past two years the Quebec teams had optioned to skate as a unified provincial team, this year Montreal sent a fully loaded Smash Squad (eventually finishing second) while the debuting Roller Derby Sherbrooke bolstered its numbers with a few extra bodies from Trois-Rivieres. With many teams under the 14-skater norm, two teams, the Thicket from Forest City and Quebec, ended up with less than 10. Quebec actually started with 8 skaters, but one of the team’s top jammers, Chlomydia, was injured early in the first game. The Viande Froide handled the loss brilliantly, showing the perseverance and incredible endurance that has become the hallmark of this league.

Eventual third-place finishers Our Ladies of Pain opened the tournament with a win over the Renegade Derby Dames. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Quebec’s growing provincial dominance was a big part of the Fresh story in 2015. Montreal’s Smash Squad returned as an independent team for the first time since winning it all in 2012 and played wonderfully, dominating usually strong entries from Toronto, Royal City (in the semifinal), and the defending champion Cannon Dolls (from Capital City) in the opening game of the tournament. Sherbrooke’s Les Rebelles also surprised, and did so in dramatic fashion. After dropping the opening game to the Hamutantes (a GTA/Hammer City mixed team that also performed exceptionally), Les Rebelles needed to win two in a row to advance; first, they eliminated Ottawa’s Cannon Dolls in a thrilling 94-92 game, before managing to score one point as time expired to cancel a final-jam 10-point comeback by the DRRD’y Farmers in an 81-80 win that sent them to the quarterfinal knock-out round.

Sherbrooke’s impressive run to the quarterfinals included a thrilling, last second one-point victory over the DRRD’y Farmers in a must-win elimination game. (Photo by Jeff Davad courtesy of Jammer Line)

Sherbrooke’s run eventually ended at the hands of Royal City’s Our Ladies of Pain, who had a fantastic day (buoyed by the largest cheering section of the tournament). After a third place finish in 2011 and reaching the Fresh final in 2012 (as the Top Herloins), Royal City had not advanced beyond the quarters since, but did so this year, falling in the semifinals to the Smash Squad in a rematch of that 2012 final. Another league that quietly had a bounce back tournament was the lone US entrant, Queen City’s Queen’s Court. After a final four finish at the inaugural Fresh in 2011, the team had failed to advance beyond the first round since, but they narrowly knocked off Wellington’s surprising Bloody Marys to do so this year.

Despite the variety of fine performances, the narrative of this tournament ran directly through the winning team. A five-skater pack (featuring blockers Divacop, Dildodo Bombass, Ninge Turtle, Cunts’n’Roses, and pivot KillEasy) and a two-jammer rotation (Taminator and Izzy Gonzales, who seemed light years ahead of the competition) ran roughshod over the competition, dominating from start to finish and showing that even if Roller Derby Quebec has not ascended to the top of the pyramid of competitive Canadian derby just yet, the strength of its base (seemingly so far ahead of everyone else’s), means that it’s just a matter of time.

THE RESULTS

Double Elimination: ArenaNEO Fights 75 vs. South Simcoe Rebel Rollers 73Roller Derby Quebec 124 vs. Queen’s Court 10 Rogue D-VAS 47 vs. Thicket 67 Renegade Derby Dames 59 vs. Our Ladies of Pain 76 NEO Fights 14 vs. Quebec 155 South Simcoe (elim.) 69 vs. Queen’s Court 107 Thicket 58 vs. Our Ladies of Pain 114 Rogue D-VAS 102 vs. Renegade Derby Dames (elim.) 59 NEO Fights (elim.) 56 vs. D-VAS 70 Thicket (elim.) 91 vs. Queen’s Court 111	Double Elimination: Bubble 705 Bombshells 42 vs. DRRD’y Farmers 53Smash Squad 121 vs. Cannon Dolls 50 Les Rebelles 43 vs. Derby Hamutantes 136 DRRD’y Farmers 56 vs. Bloody Marys 96 Smash Squad 76 vs. Hamutantes 57 Cannon Dolls (elim.) vs. Les Rebelles 94 DRRD’y Farmers (elim.) 80 vs. Les Rebelles 81 Hamutantes 107 vs. 705 Bombshells (elim.) 37
Quarterfinals  Our Ladies of Pain 102 vs. Les Rebelles 54 Roller Derby Quebec 102 vs. Hamutantes 45 Smash Squad 97 vs. Rogue D-VAS 37 Bloody Marys 59 vs. Queen’s Court 62
Semifinals Roller Derby Quebec 103 vs. Queen’s Court 16 Our Ladies of Pain 76 vs. Smash Squad 153
Third Place Our Ladies of Pain 119 vs. Queen’s Court 101 Championship Roller Derby Quebec 100 vs. Smash Squad 46

**This year’s Louisa Kalimeris Heart Award went to Les Rebelle’s Malicious, who always seemed to jam with a smile.

**Once again, Layer9.ca was there to provide a live feed of all the action on both tracks. The archives are already up, so be sure to check them out. As an added bonus, most of the games featuring teams from Quebec include bilingual commentary.

The Fresh and the Furious Returns to Give Glimpse of the Future of Flat Track

If you want to know what the future of eastern Canadian roller derby looks like, head on down to Ted Reeve Arena this weekend for the 2015 Fresh and the Furious tournament. This is the fifth year this GTA Rollergirls-hosted fresh-meat tournament will be held under this moniker, but it has its roots as far back as 2008 when it was called the Virgin Suicides Brawl, and has proven an incredibly important launching point for not only individual skaters in Ontario and Quebec, but for whole leagues as well. Actually, it’s not too much of a stretch to say that a majority of the current generation of skaters in Ontario and Quebec made their debuts at this very event, and the WFTDA teams in the two provinces are full of past participants.

A Beast of the East style, 16-team double-elimination tournament (held over one day on two tracks, mind you), this year’s bracket has a slight hitch as only 15 teams will be competing (Kingston and ToRD have merged their fresh meat teams for the event, neither having enough skaters who qualified under the “fresh” rules); however, this year’s tournament excitingly welcomes some new leagues as well.

Once again, layer9.ca will be there to live stream the complete event, with single cameras on each track until the later knock out rounds when a full boutcast will bring you the medal-round action.

For a link to the bracket, click here. And here’s a breakdown of where you can find each team. Beginning at 7:00 PM (seminfinals), the tournament shifts to one track.

THE BUBBLE

An amalgamation of the freshest skaters from six Northern Ontario leagues, The NEO Fights return to Fresh after an interesting 2014 tournament saw them become the highest scoring team to be eliminated in two games (they scored 219 points in their two losses and despite the early elimination, were the second highest scoring team in the first round); they kick things off against long-time participants South Simcoe at 11:00 AM, in the opening game of the tournament.

The Bubble track actually features a who’s who of Fresh history. Roller Derby Quebec (who formerly participated as part of a Quebec provincial fresh meat team) will debut against Buffalo’s Queen’s Court (Queen City remains the lone US team in the tournament—they’ve been a part of it since the start). The Kingston/Toronto mixed team, the Rogue DVAS, will take on Forest City’s Thickets (quarterfinalists last year). Wrapping up the opening round games in the Bubble are two perennial Fresh participants, the Renegade Derby Dames and Royal City’s Our Ladies of Pain.

*Catch the Bubble live stream here.

THE ARENA

Wellington Roller Derby’s Bloody Marys will get a bye past their opening match, but will face the winners of the Arena’s opening game, featuring Durhams DRRD’y Farmers and the 705 Bombshells (another amalgam team featuring leagues in and around the 705 area code). 2012 champs Montreal’s Smash Squad returns to the tournament (after being part of the Quebec provincial team in the last two tournaments) and will square off against the team that won it all last year, Capital City’s Cannon Dolls. Finally, the host Derby Debutantes will close out the opening round games with a showdown against Les Rebelles, who represent the debuting Roller Derby Sherbrooke.

*Catch the Arena live stream here.

 

PAST WINNERS OF THE “SLOPPY CUP”

 

YEAR	WINNER	RUNNER-UP	THIRD PLACE
2008	Death Row Dames (HCRG)	Venus Fly Tramps (TCRD)	Slaughter Daughters(RVRG—then ORD)
2011	Gold Miner’s Daughters (GCRG)	D-VAS (ToRD)	Queens of Pain (RCRG)
2012	Smash Squad (MTLRD)	Top Herloins (RCRG)	D-VAS (ToRD)
2013	Les Bûches (Quebec)	D-VAS (ToRD)	Hammer City/Pulp Affliction (ORG)
2014	Cannon Dolls (CCDD)	Les Bûches (Quebec)	D-VAS (ToRD)

 

**Remember to tune in to layer9.ca starting at 11:00 AM on Saturday morning to catch all of the fresh and furious action. As an added bonus, games featuring teams from Quebec will have a bilingual live stream.

ToRD, GTAR Unite for 7th Annual Uhaul Brawl

For the third season in a row, Toronto’s annual Pride-affiliated all-queer all-star roller derby bout will be a cross-city affair, a collaborative effort between the city’s two biggest roller derby leagues, Toronto Roller Derby and the GTA Rollergirls but the history of the event has roots that shoot even further back. Although newly rebranded (more on that in the recap–stay tuned), this will be the 7th straight season that a Pride-affiliated roller derby game takes place as part of Toronto’s Pride celebrations and it remains an increasingly popular part of the week (the Torontoist listed it as one of the “15 Cheap Things to Do For Pride 2015”).

Circle City’s (Indianapolis) Trudy Bauchery battles Montreal’s Nameless Whorror and ToRD’s Nasher the Smasher at the 2013 Clam Slam. (Photo by Greg Russell)

Dating back to 2009 and held in ToRD’s former home at George Bell Arena in the city’s West End, the event formerly known as the Clam Slam was born. For the past five seasons, US skaters have been a big part of the event (some visiting skaters have included Rose City’s Mercy and Naptown’s Maiden Sane), and this year representatives from Buffalo’s Queen City Roller Girls will maintain the tradition, just one of twelve leagues that will have skaters represented in the two games.

Divided into four teams and two games, the first matchup will feature “intermediate-level” skaters playing a slightly shortened game featuring two twenty-minute halves. The second will be a full regulation game featuring slightly more advanced skaters (including members of the seven WFTDA-associated leagues, with Montreal, Toronto, Tri-City and Queen City all in Division 1).

The level of play in the past has been impressive to say the least: fast-paced hard hitting, the skaters not letting the all-star nature of the set-up detract from the competition and this year’s event should be no different.

Once again, for those out-of-towners who don’t want to miss the game (or miss seeing their leaguemates in action!), layer9.ca will be live-streaming both games (just to get warmed up, take a look back at the 2014 Clam Slam to get a sense of the level of play).  But there’s nothing like being there for the live event: tickets are available online or at select retailers.

Game Times and Roster (some skaters are skating under special names specifically for this event):

Game 1 (6:30 PM: Live Stream Link)

Blundstone Brigade

The Glitterrazzi

132 Ca-thump! GTA Rollergirls 174 Poupée de sin, Poupée de sang Montreal Roller Derby 175 Simone De Beaver Montréal Roller Derby 3 Taboma Niagara Roller Girls 40 Flaming Hips Kingston Derby Girls 5309 Tits Inspecter Toronto Roller Derby 7 Xcalibur Tri-City Roller Derby 867 The Notorious V.A.G. (C) Toronto Roller Derby 8688 Dyke Spice Kingston Derby Girls 888 Tiny Beaver Montreal 9.75 Dykeosaur Durham Region Et0h 2 y/o Drunk Toddler Toronto Roller Derby M30W Devon Wrecks GTA Rollergirls n00d Oliver Klozeoff ToRD YE5 M.I.Gay Hammer City BENCH: Devochka, Lowblow Palooza

084 Scream Queen Royal City Roller Girls 1000k VAGILLIONAIRE Toronto Roller Derby 246 Rubyfruit Rumble Toronto Roller Derby 2468 Malcuntent (C) Royal City Roller Girls 320 Bear Queen City Roller Girls 4pc NicNugget Queen City Roller Girls 63 Eaton Beaver Tri City Roller Derby 64 Two Spear-hit Toronto Roller Derby 6969 CAT the Conqueror Durham Region Roller Derby 72 Molly Malign Queen City Roller Girls 7435 Shakesqueer Toronto Roller Derby 83 Hot Fuzz Royal City Roller Girls 862 glitter snatch Toronto Roller Derby 99 Noodle Kaboodle Toronto Roller Derby X3 Commander Box Toronto Roller Derby BENCH: Coach Nail’er, Tits McGee

Game 2 (8:00 PM: Live Stream Link)

Plaid Mafia

Team Uhaul

1 Gayly Copter Toronto Roller Derby 1000k VAGILLIONAIRE Toronto Roller Derby 1017 Clitty Smallz Toronto Roller Derby 12″ Jildo Toronto Roller Derby 1234 lous ur pants Toronto Roller Derby 1321 Queen LaQueefa (C) Tri City Roller Derby 15 The Littlest Homo Toronto Roller Derby 18 IGWE Toronto Roller Derby 25 Vause the Boss Toronto Roller Derby 313 Suzy SlamHer South Simcoe Rebel Rollers 51 Dana Scullcrusher Niagara Roller Girls Full Dick Toronto Roller Derby 76 Getcha Kinks Toronto Roller Derby 828 Switch Hitter Royal City Roller Girls 911 Fraxxure Tri City Roller Derby BENCH: Loose Knuckles, Jose Queervo

14 AnneX Tri City Roller Derby 1666 Sin Queen City Roller Girls 2 I HEART BUTTS Orangeville Roller Girls 21 Dyna Squirtcha Montreal Roller Derby 213 Sleeper Hold (C) Toronto Roller Derby 23 ThünderKünt Toronto Roller Derby 312 G-Stringer Toronto Roller Derby 519 Smashin’ Good Time Hammer City 52 SoFearMe GTA Rollergirls 55 Box Fairy Toronto Roller Derby 78 La Petite Mort Montreal Roller Derby 867 Gaycey McNally Toronto Roller Derby 917 Pepper Pot GTA Rollergirls L7 Tara Part Toronto Roller Derby BENCH: Genghis Khunt, Heavy Petter, Gayonce

** Doors at Ted Reeve Arena open at 6:00 PM. ToRD’s CN Power will be hosting the official after party at The Steady Cafe and Bar.

Weekend Round Up: Dolls Edge Betties to Close Out ToRD Regular Season on Busy Night in Canadian Derby

The Dolls wrapped up second spot in the regular season standings with the victory over the Betties. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

The Canadian roller derby season truly got underway this weekend with teams clear across the nation in action. In Toronto, ToRD closed out its house league regular season with a highly anticipated showdown between the defending champion Death Track Dolls and the Smoke City Betties. Tied in the standings heading into the game, the Dolls clinched second spot and a bye to the semifinals with a tense 175-138 victory that was not sewn up until the final moments of the second half. The Betties will now face off against the Chicks Ahoy! in a second-chance quarterfinal matchup.

Dolls’ rookie jammer PrEditor had a breakout game. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

The Dolls led from start to finish, but the 37-point differential in the end was actually the largest lead of the game. There was some concern over the Dolls’ jammer rotation coming into this one: with veteran blocker Dawson out after an off-track injury, Scarcasm slipped from the rotation back into the pack leaving rookies PrEditor and Common Dominator with a bulk of the track time, but the first-year jammers did not disappoint, with PrEditor in particular skating a break-out performance with the star. But it was the more experienced jammers, Devochka and especially Sleeper Hold, who were the difference makers in this one.

It was tight at the start, with the Betties countering with their usual jammer rotation of the jukey Wolverina, WackerHer, Kil’Her At Large and the tireless Smoka Cola; it wasn’t until seven minutes into the opening half when a Dolls’ power jam let them pull ahead 29-7 that either team seemed to make a move. But whenever the Dolls threatened to pull away, the Betties responded, and the biggest lead of the half (30 points with ten to go) was whittled back down to 12 points after a 23-0 Betties run. The teams traded leads and points the rest of the way with the Dolls ahead narrowly, 93-83, at the break.

Betties’ pivot LowBlowPalooza had another strong game (blocking here with Genuine Risk and Mazel Tough). (Photo by Greg Russell)

A late-half collision between the Dolls’ Hannibelle and the Betties’ Honey Boom Boom, saw Boom bloodied and taken out of the game, a huge loss for the Betties’ pack, who got strong performances from the usual suspects including SewWhat? and Tushy Galore (not to mention another monster performance from LowBlowPalooza), but were also debuting rookie Juggernaut J and saw first games of the year for Jenny Spector and Genuine Risk. The Dolls’ packs took advantage of the comparative lack of experience with two solid lines held down by offensive-blocking leader Getcha Kicks, Stringer Belle and Scarcasm on one side and Robotomy and Hannibelle on the other, but also welcomed to the track converted referee Lace Frehley in her Dolls’ debut.

The Dolls held the lead for the opening five minutes of the second before the Betties put forth their most sustained offensive push of the game, going on a 22-3 run over the next ten minutes to pull within 3, down 117-114, nearing the midway point of the second.

Betties’ jammer Smoka Cola and Dolls’ jammer Sleeper Hold duel in the second half. (Photo by Greg Russell)

In the end, you could boil the difference in the game down to two things: match-ups and discipline. First off, the Dolls played one of the cleanest games in recent ToRD history, picking up a total of eighteen penalties (and no jammer penalties, to the Betties’ four), while they also made subtle matchup adjustments throughout the game. Both of these things were the in play at the turning point of the game.

Throughout the first half, Smoke Cola had often found herself matched up against the Dolls’ rookie jammers, and the experienced jammer took advantage (including picking up lead on her first five jams); however, in the second half, Smoka could barely move an inch without Dolls’ more experienced Sleeper Hold stuck to her side, and it was a shift that worked: with the Betties threatening and within three points, Sleeper was actively involved in drawing a cut on Smoka Cola to give the Dolls a crucial power jam and letting them pull away. Another power jam on the final jam sealed the deal and allowed the Dolls to hold on for the statement-making 37-point victory, wrapping up second place in the 2015 regular season standings.

**This game was boutcast live on Layer9.ca. Watch the archive here.

**The ToRD house league teams get a break now as they gear up for Montreal’s Beast of the East, with the quarterfinal showdown tentatively scheduled for May 9^th.

CANADIAN ROUND-UP

It was a busy weekend all across the country at all levels of play. Perhaps most significantly, Calgary (60^th and in WFTDA’s Division 2) was making its 2015 WFTDA sanctioned debut at How the West Was Won and seemed to pick up right where they left off in 2014, scoring a major upset win over St. Chux Derby Chix (38^th in D1) 137-103 before falling to a strong Arizona (34^th) team, 270-139. They wrapped up the weekend with another upset, this time a 187-108 win against Brew City (50^th). Calgary closed out 2014 by surging into a D2 playoff spot, but at this rate they may just propel themselves right into D1 before the year is out! Full results from HTWWW are available here.

Royal City’s Brute-Leggers were on the road for their WFTDA debut this weekend, and picked up two big wins, first 253-102 over Hellions of Troy (126^th, D3) and then 157-109 over other WFTDA newcomers Albany Roller Derby.

Speaking of regular seasons, while Toronto’s was ending, Montreal’s was just getting under way with Les Filles du Roi winning this year’s annual round-robin tournament to kick off the season. FDR defeated Les Contrabanditas 125-99 and La Racaille 136-92 to emerge as front-runners in the league this season. The Ditas and La Racaille played a tight bout, 110-100 for the Ditas, to round out the night.

Also, Orangeville hosted a full-day men’s and women’s round robin tournament that saw the GTA Rollergirls G-sTARs go 2-0, knocking off Kingston Disloyalists 195-66 and Orangeville 243-139. The hosts, Orangeville Pulp Affliction, defeated Kingston 228-141. At the same event, Toronto Men’s Roller Derby put in a strong showing against Montreal’s Mont Royals, holding the 15^th ranked MRDA team to a respectable 278-86. Full results available here.

Finally, the Border City Brawlers B-team, the Canadian Clubbers, managed to knock off the Woodstock Warriors 159-133 in Woodstock.

**Other Canadian roller derby scores? Please post them in the comments section below.

The Fresh Get Furious at the 2014 Fresh and Furious Tournament

The freshies continue to look less and less fresh every year as the Cannon Dolls and Les Bûches put on an impressive display of flat track roller derby in the championship final.

The medalists from the 2014 Fresh and the Furious. (Photo by Rocio “Robotomy” Gomez)

When you are at a tournament and looking for stories, many may emerge. The 2014 Fresh and the Furious tournament was no exception. At first, it seemed as if the story of the tournament was going to be the inclusion of junior-program graduates (there were four), and then it appeared as if it was going to be a story of an injury-riddled tournament (two broken legs and an asthma attack—all requiring ambulances), but then—reminiscent of the 2011 version of the tournament—one single team ended up writing its own story.

Capital City’s Cannon Dolls came into this year’s freshie showdown as a virtual unknown. This was the fourth consecutive year that Ottawa’s Capital City has sent a team to the tournament, but it was the first time that they had managed to advance beyond the double elimination round. And of course, not only did they advance, they ended up winning it all. Not since the Goldminer’s Daughters stormed the tournament in 2011, has such an underdog performed so well. And while that tournament saw the Daughters struggle early before coming on strong in the elimination rounds, the Cannon Dolls announced their presence early (they were the first team to surpass the century mark with a 118-33 victory over the Belleville Bombshells) and never really looked back on the way to a thrilling, last-jam 80-78 victory over Les Bûches in the tournament final.

Eventual champs the Cannon Dolls (green) defeated eventual quarterfinalists, Fox Force Five, in the double elimination round. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

One of the continuing stories over the history of this tournament, has been the increased level of play in each subsequent year. This year was no different, and indeed, may have marked yet new heights. By the end of the tournament the Dolls and Les Bûches had pulled well ahead of the competition, and each did so with vastly different styles. The Cannon Dolls played tidy, efficient flat track roller derby, simple, but smart, and subtle in its sophistication. Led by a seemingly wise-beyond-her-years pivot named Edmonton (but aided in the pack by some surprising talent as well including Apple Sass and Icetina), the Dolls’ offense was paced by three speedy jammers (Labrosse, Kaio-Kensi, and Caume-A-Kazi) who displayed excellent footwork and a natural instinct for the game (it turns out they all come to the game with considerable skating experience in either hockey or figure skating). So while the team was able to field an explosive offense, it was their defense that really defined their success. They gave up only 34 points per game (compared to Les Bûches’ 83) and finished with the top overall point differential (+268) after their 5-0 run.

The host, Derby Debutantes, lost a nail-biter of an elimination game to Royal City’s Our Ladies of Pain. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Les Bûches were quite a different team. Full of offensively talented skaters (they too had a solid jammer rotation led by Le Grande Noirceur and Rapidass but completed by triple-threat Commionette), at times defense seemed an after thought. Averaging a tournament record of 121 points per game, they also gave up 75+ points in four of their five games. They had a looseness and swagger to their game that nearly backfired in the semifinal, but that they managed to reign in for the final game.

This year’s final four provided an interesting cross-section of the tournament. Two traditional powers (the defending champs Les Bûches and Toronto Roller Derby’s D-VAS) and two teams who were marking their final four debuts (the Dolls and the South Simcoe Rebel Rollers: another returning team that reached new heights this year). South Simcoe played a similar style game as the eventual winners, but didn’t quite have the depth of talent of the winners. Despite notching their fourth consecutive top-three finish, the D-VAS never seemed to find that extra gear in the tournament, and seemed to run out of steam in the semifinals where they were handily dispatched by the Cannon Dolls 119-7, easily the most lopsided result of the tournament.

There were some other strong leagues and stories in the final eight as well. For the second straight year a team from Orangeville (Fox Force Five) made the quarterfinals (they made it to the Top 4 in 2013) showing the continued strength of that team. Royal City, returned to the quarterfinals after a one-year absence, but the big surprise of the final 8 came from Northumberland’s Ganaraska Gravediggers. Facing an elimination game against the Renegade Derby Dames, a last-gasp pass gave the team the upset victory.

And this takes us back to one of the original stories of this year’s Fresh and Furious tournament: The Rise of the Juniors. They are here. And they are very, very good.

Northumberland’s Iggy Popper (left) was one of four junior-program graduates in the tournament. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

While there will come a day when we look back upon this particular tournament as a seminal moment in the welcoming of graduates from our country’s various junior programs, it is not hard to see that in a few years, this tournament will be dominated by these skaters. The Gravediggers featured a tall, strong jammer named Iggy Popper, a graduate of both Toronto Junior Roller Derby and Peterborough’s junior program. She was just one of four. The Renegade Derby Dames featured two junior graduates in Shatterproof and Lil’ Mae-Hem (who both played key roles). Finally, ToRD’s D-VAS also debuted a recent graduate, with Fight of the Conchords playing a strong game, showing a nice instinct on the track, particularly for offense.

This year’s tournament once again continued the trend of increasingly impressive performances from apparently “fresh” teams, a testament to the strength of leagues’ training programs but also the impact of having junior skaters graduate to the senior levels: they are going to bring a lot of experience with them to the senior levels of the sport, raising the bar considerably.

In the end, Les Bûches and the Cannon Dolls proved to be head and shoulders above the competition: game play and strategy, endurance and discipline—the final was played at a level that belied the “fresh” moniker of the tournament.

THE ALL-NERD TEAM

It was hard to narrow down the immense level of talent displayed by the dozens and dozens of skaters who took part in the tournament, but if I had to throw together a single line of skaters (with two jammers) this would be it:

Pivot: Edmonton (Cannon Dolls)

Blocker: Crazy Squirrel (Renegade Derby Dames)

Blocker: Block Quebecois (D-VAS)

Triple Threat: Cammionette (Les Bûches)

Jammer(s): Labrosse (Cannon Dolls), Le Grande Noirceur (Les Bûches)

***A big congratulations should also be sent out to the D-VAS’ Holly Rocket, who picked up the first ever Louisa Kalimeris Heart Award, given to a player who demonstrates heart, determination and a positive attitude over the course of the tournament.

Toronto jammer Holly Rocket won the first ever Louisa Kalimeris Award for heart, determination and positivity on the track. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

THE RESULTS

Double Elimination: ArenaD-VAS 67 vs. DRRDy Farmers 23 Fox Force Five 74 vs. Derby Debutantes 63 Belleville Bombshells 33 vs. Cannon Dolls 118 D-VAS 83 vs. Our Ladies of Pain 58 Fox Force Five 38 vs. Cannon Dolls 63 Debutantes 88vs. Belleville 66 (eliminated) Our Ladies of Pain 90 vs. Debutantes 88 (elim.) Fox Force Five 75 vs. DRRD 37 (elim.)	Double Elimination: BubbleGanaraska Gravediggers 32 vs. South Simcoe Rebel Rollers 67 Queen’s Court 91 vs. Windsor A-Salt 62 NEOFights 105 vs. Les Bûches 150 Thickets 68 vs. Renegade Derby Dames 87 South Simcoe 72 vs. Queen’s Court 56 Ganaraska 50 vs. Windsor 49 (elim.) Les Bûches 111 vs. Renegade 78 Thickets 117 vs. NEOFights 114 (elim.) Queen’s Court 31 (elim.) vs. Thickets 54 Renegade 73 (elim.) vs. Ganaraska 76
Quarter Finals D-VAS 70 vs. Ganaraska 41 South Simcoe 70 vs. Fox Force Five 51 Cannon Dolls 59 vs. Thickets 15 Les Bûches 127 vs. Our Ladies of Pain 61
Semi Finals D-VAS 7 vs. Cannon Dolls 119 South Simcoe 90 vs. Les Bûches 139
Third Place D-VAS 68 vs. South Simcoe 56 Championship Les Bûches 78 vs. Cannon Dolls 80

 

** The games were boutcast in HD by Layer9 . Check here for the complete archives.

Peaches Does Roller Derby: The Clam Slam, WorldPride, and the Most Important Woman in the World

In which the Nerd reflects on the importance of WorldPride, the Clam Slam’s role within it, and how for a few days in September 2012, he was convinced that Peaches was the most important woman in the world.

The Clam Slam, this year a WorldPride Affiliate event, is in its 6th year.

As the giddiness of another Toronto Pride celebration begins to fade, the thrill of the event wears off, and it’s hard not to become reflective: on how inclusive and open a city we live, about how wonderful it is to celebrate diversity and difference and live in a place where those things are met with celebration instead if fear.

This year, the world came to our city to celebrate the first ever WorldPride held on North American soil. It meant an increased focus, increased participation, but it also meant an increased awareness of what life is like for members of the LGBTQITSLFA (LGBT) community outside of Canada. In turning our eyes to the struggles of those in places like Uganda, for example, we are able to see how lucky we are here.

Not, of course, to imply that the situation in Canada is perfect. It most certainly is not. We need only look to the thinly veiled homophobic actions and comments by the mayor of the largest city in our country to know that there are still battles to be fought on our own home soil. What we are lucky about here in Canada is that the battle has (mostly)  moved away from the systemic and legal arenas and onto the front lines: it’s become a battle of hand-to-hand combat against the last stragglers in the army of the close-minded. But because of the numerous victories, the battle has also shifted to become both more expansive and more specific, shifting focus toward trans rights or the rights of those members in the LGBT community who are also visible minorities.

In Canada, while these individual battles still rage, we have the support of the system. Most members of the LGBT community in Canada are afforded equal rights by the law. That is a powerful weapon with which to fight the individual ground battles that are still occurring. It is a weapon that many people in the world do not have at their disposal.

Plaid Mafia’s WhackedHer (skating as VAGilante) gets sandwiched during the opening game of the Clam Slam. (Photo by Greg Russell)

Arguably, the most moving event at WorldPride was the mass wedding performed at Casa Loma on Thursday, June 26. Featuring nearly 120 couples from around the world, many were from countries where same-sex marriage is still not allowed. What was most shocking was that many participants were from wealthy, developed countries like Australia and South Korea. A grim reminder of how far we are from living on a globally free planet.

Across the city in Ted Reeve Arena, at the same time that this remarkable wedding was happening, representatives from 16 North American roller derby leagues were taking part in the 6th annual Clam Slam: a Pride-affiliate all-star roller derby bout run through a collaboration between Toronto Roller Derby and the Great Toronto Area Rollergirls. This year, however, there was a very special guest on hand to blow the opening whistle of the second and final game of the evening: Peaches. The singer would return the favour a few days later when a group of ToRD skaters appeared on stage during her concert.

Now an international phenomenon, Peaches has been a growing icon in the LGBT community (and well beyond!) since her first album, The Teaches of Peaches, was released in 2000. It has never seemed strange to me that the rise of Peaches’ career has coincided with the rise of flat track roller derby. Both, to me, are absolutely essential aspects of North American life in the 21^st century, and both are intricately intertwined with the LGBT community as well.

2003 was an astonishing year—perhaps the first true year of the 21^st century (in the same way that some people refer to 1963 as being the first year of what we think of as “The ’60s”). 2003 would be the year of SARS, the year the first deer was cloned, and the Hubble telescope would see so deep into space, it could see galaxies that existed in the few millennia after the Big Bang.

In 2003, Belgium would follow the Netherlands in legalizing same-sex marriage at a national level, while closer to home, the province of Ontario would become the first jurisdiction in the Americas to allow it.

Fans of flat track roller derby also know that in the Austin, Texas, in April, the Texas Rollergirls would host the first official game of flat track roller derby, playing under a rule set that would eventually lead to the WFTDA rule set played so widely today.

The cover of Peaches’ second album, Fatherfucker (2003).

Peaches would release her second, break-through album, Fatherfucker in September of that year; its very title an affront to any sort of attempt at wide mainstream acceptance. Through two albums, she’d created a gender-defying persona with a heightened sexuality. And, as evidenced by the album title, she didn’t give a fuck what you thought of her. At all. She was going to be herself and she was going to shove that self in your face: you could either look away or you could do your best to take it all in and be awed by it.

My partner was enthralled by Peaches from the first time she heard Peaches’ voice slip in over top of the raw, low-fi beats that begin “Fuck the Pain Away,” the opening track of Teaches of Peaches. Her growing passion for Peaches just got bigger after she discovered and started playing roller derby, a community that as a whole seemed to share my partner’s love for the singer.

One of the first things I noticed about the roller derby community was how big the LGBT community was within it. The revival of the sport had been very much wrapped up in third-wave feminism and was fueled by a punk rock sensibility; especially in Montreal, where I was first seeing the game, roller derby and the LGBT community were fused to the point where I didn’t much think about one without the other. But I also noticed right away that the sport itself—and how inclusive, empowering and all encompassing it could be—led to a certain transcendence of politics. I once wrote about how struck I was that skaters weren’t traditionally feminist in that they didn’t seem to be caught up in a fight for acceptance or inclusion; they simply expected it.

For me, Peaches has always represented a similar attitude. A similar transcendence. For the most part, the persona of Peaches takes the point of view of a woman in her song writing, but she isn’t interested in adhering to any sort of traditional notions of what being a woman is, and as her career has gone on, her persona has become more ambiguous. She just is. There is an overt sexual “baseness” to her writing that is grounded in an extremely physical experience. She is living through her body, experiencing life through her body, and that body happens to be a female one.

Naptown Jammer Maiden America (playing for the Eager Beavers) attempts to pass Montreal’s Nameless Whorror (Clam Diggers). (Photo by Greg Russell)

Along with her recording career, Peaches has also made some movies, most notably the “electro rock opera” Peaches Does Herself. A sort of psychedelic memoir, it begins as a kind of portrait of the artist as a young women, in which the audience is introduced to a mythologized version of Peaches’ creation. It is, throughout, a celebration of the female body and a carnivalized romp through a woman’s sexual awakening and then experience. Through this process, the film also lays bare the constructed nature of human gender and sexuality, then defies those constraints as the film becomes more surreal and the desires and gender of the characters become more fluid.

I was at the world premiere of Peaches Does Herself, and I remember leaving the Bloor Hot Docs cinema that night convinced that Peaches was the most important woman in the world. She represented the avant garde of female identity in the 21^st century: a super-empowered, hyper-sexual being who celebrated her body—all bodies!—with a wild glee.  She was, to put it simply, free to explore how she wanted to be a woman.

Of course, I know it is naïve to think of any performer as the most important anything in the world, yet I am still convinced that the very existence of someone like Peaches makes our world a better place to live.

And I could—and have—said the same about women’s flat track roller derby. Here’s a competitive game built and shaped by women in the midst of a sporting environment absolutely dominated by men. Here’s a game that has not only welcomed the LGBT community but celebrates it, has put it at the core of its growth and has allowed it to shape the nature and attitude of the game. Here’s a sport that has eschewed all traditional notions of what a sport is and how it should be, taken a punk-rock DIY approach and made it work on a national, then cross-border, and now global scale. Roller derby, like Peaches, has become a force of nature. And I think our world is a better place for it.

 

***For the record, the Clam Slam was once again a great success that produced two really, really entertaining games of roller derby. In the first, the Plaid Mafia used a late-game comeback to defeat Team Uhaul 194-178. In the second, the Eager Beavers held off a late charge by the Clam Diggers to record the 193-154 victory. Both games were boutcast live; watch the archives here.

***Portions of this article were excerpted from a book-length work in progress***

The Preview of Previews! Welcome to 2014

First off, if you’ve been a reader of the Nerd over the years, you’ve probably noticed that things look a little different around here. It’s a fresh new look for a fresh new year! But don’t worry, in terms of content and derby nerdiness, nothing will change. However, due to the change, you may notice some formatting inconsistencies, particularly when reading archived material. Feel free to let me know if anything looks truly messed up!

2013 was an incredible year for roller derby, and any way you look at it, 2014 is going to be an even bigger year. Internationally, this will truly be the year that roller derby goes global. The second women’s world cup is coming up, but first, the inaugural men’s world cup will take place in Birmingham, England, in March, making roller derby truly a global undertaking open to all. This global gender equality could very well be the first tentative step toward mainstream (IE: Olympic) international recognition.

A little closer to home, in 2013 Canada certainly announced itself as a power in competitive roller derby. After such a successful World Cup showing in 2011, it seemed only a matter of time before Canadian teams started to emerge as contenders in the WFTDA. This season, it all started with Montreal’s high playoff seeding and Tri-City’s impressive run in the D2 playoffs and was capped off with Vancouver and Toronto’s string of upsets in the D1 Divisionals.

This has set expectations for 2014 very high. Tri-City was recently awarded one of the WFTDA’s D2 playoff Divisional tournaments, which is a great achievement, but perhaps one year too late as all indications show Tri-City making a run at D1 this season. Similarly, while Montreal will be hard pressed to ascend to the ranking heights they hit in 2013, Toronto and Vancouver are poised to make noise and advance up the standings. Also, Rideau Valley (who just missed out on D2 playoffs last year) and Hammer City (who had one of the largest ranking jumps in the WFTDA last year) are both solid contenders in the second division.

In 2013, Tri-City will become the first non-US league to host a WFTDA playoff tournament.

AND on top of that, we now welcome Forest City, Calgary, Border City and GTA Rollergirls into the WFTDA fold. Last year Calgary made massive competitive strides and could be a team to watch this year and could even be in the mix in the second division. Forest City should be able to build on an inconsistent 2013, while Border City (who are going through a big organizational change) and GTA probably lack the depth of organization to compete in 2014, but nonetheless will help bring more exposure to Canadian roller derby in general, and Ontario roller derby in particular (it’s amazing that there are seven [!] full WFTDA member leagues in Ontario alone).

All of this makes the Nerd very excited to cover 2014!

On this site, you can expect the same Toronto and Eastern Canadian roller derby coverage that you’ve had for years now, but there will also be a very specific global focus as I cover both the Canadian men’s and women’s teams as they prepare for their respective World Cups (expect profiles and interviews). As usual, I’ll be taking the odd road trip as well and reporting back. Actually, that begins this weekend, as I’ll be heading to Detroit to be a guest announcer for the Detroit Derby Girls 2014 house league opener.

Writing as D.D. Miller, the Nerd’s first book of fiction will be released in April. Roller Derby figures prominently in the title story.

Also, after an incredibly fun and informative first season of working on the Canadian Power Rankings with Captain Lou El Bammo, Dick Pounder and Jenny Fever, we’ll be back to track 2014 as well! Stay tuned for a separate Power Rankings Preview coming soon.

And finally, on a more personal note, this spring, I will be travelling around promoting a collection of short fiction written by my alter ego D.D. Miller. Not surprisingly, roller derby features prominently in the title story, “David Foster Wallace Ruined My Suicide.” As some of you know, I am also currently working on a book-length project about roller derby: so every league in Canada (and beyond!) be prepared to be hit up for interviews if I happen to pass through your town in 2014.

Thanks so much for the continued readership and support! Here’s to a phenomenal 2014!

– Nerd

Fresher and Furiouser: the 2013 Fresh and Furious Tournament

Les Buches became the second consecutive team from Quebec to win the Fresh and Furious tournament. (Photo by Francis St-Onge from Les Buches Facebook page)

For the second straight year, a team from Quebec swept in to win the Fresh and the Furious tournament. Last year, Montreal’s Smash Squad were the stars of the show, and this year, Les Bûches—a team made up of skaters primarily from Quebec but also from Montreal, Rimouski and Trois Riviere—were the dominant team in the tournament, leading virtually every game from start to finish and going undefeated. It was actually clear early on that this was going to be a three-team tournament, as ToRD’s D-VAS and Hammer City’s Fresh Meat joined Les Bûches in distancing themselves from the competition.

But this is a “freshies” tournament, which means that there were the requisite surprises as well with Fergus (aided by a few key skaters from Grey Bruce) providing the Cinderella-like moments early on before Orangeville’s surprising final four appearance forced everyone to take notice. All in all, it was the grueling, epic, single-day tournament that everyone has come to expect from this tournament, only the level of play continues to advance at an impressive, almost unbelievable rate, showing that the future of the sport in the region is bright indeed.

DOUBLE ELIMINATION ROUND

The Arena

Les Buches and Hammer City met in a key early matchup. (Photo by Greg Russell)

In the arena, things got off to a tight start when Border City’s Windsor A-Salt took out Woodstock/GTA’s Debutante Warriors (there was a number of mixed-league teams in this tournament, most borne out of the necessity of having enough skaters to fit under the strict eligibility rules). Last year’s finalists, the Top Herloins out of Royal City were smacked around by the Renegade Derby Dames early and eventually eliminated by Windsor. Capital City—a league to watch this season—had a rough go of it as well, falling in two straight. While the top two teams in the pool—Les Bûches and Hammer City—battled early with Les Buches taking the tight 88-61 win, before Hammer City put in two dominant performances, culminating in a mind-boggling 198-13 win over Durham’s DRRDy Farmers, to advance.

Les Bûches, Hammer City, Alliston’s Renegade Derby Dames, and Windsor all advanced to the quarter finals from the main arena.

Despite only having seven skaters, Crow City (Chatham) put in a heroic performance, going 1-2 in the double elimination round. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

The Bubble

Aside from perennial contenders the D-VAS, the pool was wide open in the Bubble, allowing a few surprise teams to emerge. Fergus advanced straight through to the quarters with back-to-back victories over Queen’s Court (Buffalo) and the Smooth Operators (Peterborough’s 705 Roller Derby), becoming the only team in the first round to record multi 100+ point games in the process. After giving the D-VAS everything they could handle in the opener, Orangeville began its march to the final four with a tight victory over the Power Dames (made up mostly of Cornwall’s Seaway Roller Derby Girls) before eliminating 705 in a one-sided elimination game. The D-VAS advanced straight through with a 138-11 victory over a short-handed Crow City team (who easily won the spirit award for going 1-2 with only 7 skaters on their bench!). Finally, the NEOFights (a mixed team from Northern Ontario—a “fresh” version of the NORD team that recently finished second at the RDAC eastern championships) overcame an opening-game loss to knock off Queen’s Court and Crow City.

The D-VAS, Fergus Feims, Orangeville’s Pulp Affliction, and the NEOFights advanced to the quarterfinals from the Bubble.

An impressive and surprising run by Fergus was finally stopped by Hammer City in the quarterfinals. (Photo by Greg Russel)

QUARTER FINALS

After the double elimination round, the tournament shifted to a single-elimination knock out playoff. The NEOFights continued to round into form as the day went on (much like their big sisters counterparts did a few weeks before at RDACs) and gave Les Bûches all that they could handle in the quarters, but simply didn’t have the offense to penetrate Les Bûches increasingly stingy defense. Fergus’ shocking run finally came to an end against a very strong Hammer City team that managed a second-straight 100+ point game to advance. The D-VAS and Windsor continued a rivalry that has built in this tournament (they faced off twice last year, splitting the games) with the D-VAS providing too much depth for the Border City freshies, and Pulp Affliction extended its unlikely run by knocking off the favoured Renegade Derby Dames.

Orangeville turned some heads with a run to the final four, but were overwhelmed by Les Buches in the semis. (Photo by Neil Gunner)

FINAL FOUR

Orangeville’s exciting run came to an abrupt conclusion against Les Bûches, who dumped them 99-9 in the semi finals: It really was the point at which this mixed Quebec team truly came together. Nonetheless, it was an impressive, take-notice tournament for Orangeville who were lead by strong performances from Hall N Ass (who was actually a Tri-City fresh meat) and Starbust with the star and Kate Knevil and Red Hot Sonia in the pack to name a few. At a tournament of freshies, Pulp Affliction simply didn’t have a sophisticated enough offense to overcome Les Bûches increasingly stifling play.

The other semifinal was a contrast as Hammer City and the D-VAS renewed one of Canada’s oldest roller derby rivalries. Hammer City was every bit the equal to ToRD’s fresh team except for perhaps in depth (and discipline, as D-VAS power jams truly sealed the deal in this one). Led by a few astonishing fresh meat skaters in Jangerous (jammer) and Homewrecken Holly (pivot), Hammer City fell behind early and often on undisciplined play, and despite a valiant comeback in the end, simply ran out of time against Toronto, falling 77-61. It was the third-straight year that the D-VAS qualified for the final four, and their return to the final comes on the heels of last year’s third place performance.

The D-VAS advanced to their third straight final four and second championship in two years. (Photo by Greg Russell)

By the final game—nearing twelve hours after the tournament commenced—the D-VAS were showing signs of strain, while Les Bûches were just rounding into top form. Les Bûches represent the first real boom in flat track roller derby in Quebec; despite the fact that they have one of the top leagues in the game in Montreal, the sport has been slow to take off in the province (there are about five women’s leagues in Quebec right now compared to around fifty in Ontario). But it has been a very good year for the leagues that do exist.

Roller Derby Quebec leads the second generation of roller derby in Quebec: their Rouge et Gore have had an impressive 2013 making the final eight at the Beast of the East before winning the Moncton Murder tournament. Three of those skaters, Nelson Mandale, Dina Myth and Vinny Neutron were key for Les Bûches this weekend (not to mention their leaguemate Dur a Queer who was dominant at times in the pack). Dey Moniak had a very strong tournament representing Rimouski, while a few Montreal Smash Squad skaters were key as well: Clara O’Key and Sugar Shane in the pack, while Gameboi was simply unstoppable with the star, while also performing exceptionally well in the pack.

Both finalists were loaded with individual talent, including Montreal’s Clara O’Key (Buches pivot) and ToRD’s Emraged (D-VAS pivot). (Photo by Neil Gunner)

Not that the D-VAS didn’t have their share of stars as well. Babushkill and Moose Knuckles were key in the opening victory against Pulp Affliction, while the trio of Full Deck, Emraged, and Android W.K. were difference makers all day. They all played multiple roles throughout the tournament, and the season of training with ToRD’s houseleague definitely showed as their track awareness and poise was evident.

But in the end, Les Bûches simply had too many weapons to contend with and overwhelmed a tiring D-VAS team late, pulling away for the convincing 122-45 victory and the Fresh and the Furious 2013 championship.

RESULTS

Double Elimination: Arena Windsor A-Salt 56 vs. Debutante Warriors 55Hammer City 61 vs. Les Bûches 88 Renegade Derby Dames 87 vs. Top Herloins 31 Cannon Dolls 40 vs. DRRDy Farmers 58 Windsor 16 vs. Les Bûches 118 Debutant Warriors (eliminated) 39 vs. Hammer City 83 Renegade Derby Dames 69 vs. DRRDy Farmers 30 Top Herloins 76 vs. Cannon Dolls 26 (eliminated) Windsor 67 vs. Top Herloins 28 (eliminated) DRRDy Farmers 13 (eliminated) vs. Hammer City 198	Double Elimination: BubbleNEOFights 52 vs. Area 705 66Queen’s Court 36 vs. Fergus Feims 113 Power Dames 38 vs. Crow City 43 Pulp Affliction 22 vs. D-VAS 52 Area 705 51 vs. Fergus 100 NEOFights 114 vs. Queen’s Court 34 (eliminated) Crow City 11 vs. D-VAS 138 Power Dames 43 (eliminated) vs. Pulp Affliction 52 Area 705 26 (eliminated) vs. Pulp Affliction 96 Crow City 41 (eliminated) vs. NEOFights 85
Quarter Finals Les Bûches 82 vs. NEOFights 33 Fergus Feims 64 vs. Hammer City 119 Renegade Derby Dames 53 vs. Pulp Affliction 56 D-VAS 58 vs. Windsor A-Salt 34
Semi Finals Les Bûches 99 vs. Pulp Affliction 9 Hammer City 61 vs. D-VAS 77
Championship Les Bûches 122 vs. D-VAS 45

** The games were boutcast in HD by Layer9 through Canuck Derby TV. Check here for the complete archives.

The Fresh and the Furious 2013: A Viewer’s Guide

The Fresh and the Furious 2013 is the fourth version of this event since the rebirth and rebranding of this tournament after the inaugural Virgin Suicides Brawl ushered in the second wave of Ontario roller derby. That tournament was held in 2008 and was won by the now defunct Death Row Dames out of Hammer City but featured teams that would go on to great heights including eventual Beast of the East winners Vicious Dishes and Slaughter Daughters. It is hosted annually by the GTA Rollergirls at Ted Reeve Arena in Toronto’s east end and is the premiere “prospects” event in the region (and the country for that matter). Each year it gives a glimpse of the future of roller derby in the region, while also providing an exciting and unpredictable tournament. This year, for the first time ever, the whole tournament will be boutcast on Canuck Derby TV.

The Fresh and Furious is a one day, sixteen team, double elimination tournament that follows the same tournament structure and format as Montreal’s annual Beast of the East. Having two tracks allows for the whole tournament to be played out over the course of a single, epic day. Although, since this year’s tournament will be boutcast, that means you have viewing choices to make. First, check the complete schedule here to see when and where the teams will be playing their first game in the double elimination round. Teams will start either in the Bubble or the Arena with a just a two-team crossover in the quarterfinals. After that, the final four will shift to the main arena for the semifinals and the finals.

THE ARENA

Absent since winning the Virgin Suicides Brawl, Hammer City returns.

Game 1 (11:00 AM): Windsor A-Salt vs. Debutante Warriors

Since making an impressive debut at 2 Fresh 2 Furious in 2011, Windsor’s Border City (a WFTDA Apprentice league) has been on a quick upward swing, including advancing to the semi final last year. The Debutante Warriors are a mixed team featuring skaters from Woodstock Warriors and the host GTA Rollergirls.

Game 2 (11:40 AM): Hammer City Fresh Meat vs. Les Buches

Hammer City sends their first team to the tournament since their Death Row Dames won the Virgin Suicides Brawl in 2008. Back on the rise after a few years of rebuilding and restructuring, Hammer City should be a team to watch in the tournament. But Les Buches have rookie skaters from across Quebec’s slowly growing number of leagues, including Roller Derby Quebec and Roller Derby Rimouski, and Roller Derby 3R. After Montreal’s success last year, they should also be competitive.

Game 3 (12:20 PM): Renegade Derby Dames vs. Top Herloins

An interesting battle between two of the comparatively well established leagues in the tournament. Renegade Derby Dames have just gone through a bit of a league shake up, but have traditionally been strong, while Royal City’s Top Herloins made it all the way to the final in last year’s tournament.

Game 4 (1:00 PM): Cannon Dolls vs. DRRDy Farmers

This will be Durham Region’s third time at the Fresh and the Furious tournaments while Capital City returns after last year’s debut. Capital City has been on quite a roll lately, while Durham Region is also deep into their season, so this should be a great match up to end the first round in the arena.

A regular participant, Buffalo’s Queen City remains the sole US participant.

THE BUBBLE

Game 5 (11:00 AM): The NEOFights vs. Smooth Operators

Like the NORD team that recently came second at the RDAC Eastern Championships, the NEOFights contain representatives from multiple leagues in Northern Ontario (Gold City, Nickel City, Greater Sudbury, Cochrane, Temiskaming, Sault Roller Derby and Kirkland Lake). The Smooth Operators represent Area 705 Roller Derby, one of the leagues operating out of Peterborough.

Game 6 (11:40 AM): Queen’s Court vs. Fergus Feims

Queen City’s long relationship with leagues north of the border has continued even at the fresh meat level as they are a frequent participant in the tournament and have always done well (they lost in the quarter finals last year), and this year they will be taking on Fergus Roller Derby’s Fergus Feims. Fergus is part of what has been an unabated third wave of roller derby development in Ontario, and Eastern Canada as a whole, over the past two years and will be making their Fresh and Furious debut.

Game 7 (12:20 PM): The Power Dames vs. Crow City Roller Girls

The Power Dames represent Cornwall’s Seaway Roller Derby Girls, but this weekend, will have a roster filled out by skaters from By the Rapids Roller Derby and Northumberland Roller Girls. From Chatham-Kent, Crow City is another fresh league, but features former Tri-City skater Greta Garbage (who will be bench managing this weekend).

Game 8 (1:00 PM): Pulp Affliction vs. D-VAS

A few interesting connections to be made in this final first round game in the Bubble: Both coincidentally take their names from Quentin Tarantino references, but the roller derby ties run a little deeper. Orangeville’s Pulp Affliction will be bench managed by Bay Street Bruisers Bench Manager (who was also recently named to the bench staff for Team Canada) Flyin’ Bryan Killman and Bay Street Bruisers skater Rhage in a Cage (who also play’s for ToRD champs the Death Track Dolls). Both have regular ties to Orangeville, but also, for obvious reasons, to ToRD’s D-VAS as well (not the least of which is that Flyin’ Bryan has regularly bench managed the D-VAS over the past two seasons).

Read about last year’s Fresh and Furious: GTA Drift

ELIMINATION GAMES

After the initial games, the teams will advance based on wins and losses: two straight wins will earn a team a bye directly into the single-elimination quarterfinals. While a team gets up to three chances to get the two necessary wins, back-to-back losses means elimination from the tournament.

For the 7:00 PM semi final, the Bubble boutcast will shut down as the final four will play out the tournament in the main arena.

An essential and important tournament for the development of new skaters in the region, the importance of the event continues to grow as the number of new leagues in Ontario (and now Quebec) continues to grow at an extraordinary rate.

The boutcast for both tracks will begin at 11:00 AM. The final four showdown begins at 7:00 PM.

The Beast of Beasts: Daughters win second Beast in a thrilling tournament

Tommy Toxic’s trophies are always a highlight of the tournament, but this year’s were particularly beastly. (Photo by Joe Mac)

Some things just get better with age. Like wine, cheese and scotch, Montreal Roller Derby’s annual Beast of the East just keeps on improving. While it could just speak to the age of the sport and overall development of the game, it also speaks to the strength, popularity and steady growth of roller derby in this region specifically. Despite the fact that the best players in the two biggest leagues represented (Montreal and Toronto) were not involved in the tournament (their talents were on display in a thrilling Friday night WFTDA showdown won by the New Skids on the Block 210-121), the competitive level and the display of skill far surpassed the expectations for a house league tournament.

The Slaughter Daughters accept their second Beast in three years. (Photo from the Slaughter Daughters Facebook page)

It was a historic tournament on a historic date, and in the end it became a duel between the two most successful teams in the tournament’s history. In the process, MTLRD’s La Racaille became the first team to appear in four finals, while their opponents, Rideau Valley’s Slaughter Daughters joined the 2008-2010 La Racaille team as the only to reach three consecutive championship games, but then one-upped them by becoming the first ever repeat champion.

From the energy and consistency of the nearly perpetually capacity crowd, to the stunning displays of athleticism on the track, this 6^th annual Beast certainly lived up to the moniker the Beast of Beasts.

ToRD’s Chicks Ahoy! kicked off the tournament with a minor upset over Rideau Valley’s Riot Squad. (Photo by Joe Mac)

DOUBLE ELIMINATION ROUND

A remarkable twenty games get played on the opening day of the Beast, and the tone was set when the tournament kicked off with a minor upset. The Chicks Ahoy!, ToRD’s most inexperienced team (playing short handed at that) managed to hold off Rideau Valley’s Riot Squad by 8 points. Remarkably, seven teams managed to top the century mark in the opening round as for the most part things went as expected early. The Slaughter Daughters dispatched two ToRD teams early on to advance straight through to the quarter finals (scoring over 100 points in both games including a 117-2 win over the Smoke City Betties), joined by Montreal teams Les Filles du Roi and La Racaille and ToRD’s Death Track Dolls as teams going 2-0 to advance. Even at this stage of the tournament it was clear that La Racaille and the Dolls were joining the Daughters at a level of play that was going to be hard to match. La Racaille also topped 100 points in both their openers, while the Dolls looked equally impressive dispatching Les Casse-Gueules and then shocking the hometown Contrabanditas 96-30 in a surprisingly one-sided win.

Vicious Dishes pivot Sofanda Beatin puts a hit on Filles du Roi jammer Beth Rave. (Photo by Joe Mac)

The rebuilding Vicious Dishes became the first defending champion not only to lose in the first round, but were actually the first team eliminated from the tournament when they lost to the Riot Squad. First timers from Quebec, Les Casse-Gueules, and London, the Luscious Lunch Ladies, also fell 0-2 to be eliminated, joined by five-time participants, the Derby Debutantes, who have yet to make it past the first round in their history at the event.

The final four elimination games lived up to the expectations, all providing thrillingly competitive action. The Chicks Ahoy! concluded their surprising tournament by giving the far more experienced Thames Fatales all that they could handle before falling 53-46. It took a while, but Les Contrabanditas were able to hold off the Riot Squad 86-57 and the TKOs eliminated the Gore-Gore Rollergirls in a scrappy, penalty-filled affair that seemed closer than the 85-42 score indicated. Finally, rookie participants from Quebec, Le Rouge et Gore, pulled off the stunner of the tournament, holding off a shocked Smoke City Betties teams 58-56 in the closing game of the opening day, and arguably the most emotional win of the tournament.

ToRD’s Death Track Dolls picked up momentum early in the tournament and carried it all the way through. (Photo by Joe Mac)

KNOCKOUT ROUND

Quarterfinals

By the time the quarterfinals rolled around, three teams, at least, had clearly distanced themselves from the pack. While Les Filles du Roi were able to dispatch Le Rouge et Gore 76-17, it was the performances in the other quarterfinals that truly impressed. La Racaille simply overwhelmed their leaguemates Les Contrabanditas (117-64), while the Daughters slaughtered the Thames Fatales 113-31 (with only a 29-0 four minute run midway through closing the gap for the Thames), and ToRD’s Dolls, despite major penalty trouble, rode some phenomenal power killing to a 79-35 win over the surging TKOs.

Semifinals

2013 Beast champs the Slaughter Daughters flanked by 2nd place La Racaille and 3rd place Death Track Dolls. (Photo from Slaughter Daughters Facebook page)

In the opener, Les Filles du Roi played their absolute best derby of the tournament. With La Racaille leading 50-9 and seemingly on cruise control, Les Filles mounted a major comeback, completely flipping the table to outscore their leaguemates 51-10 the rest of the way and set up a final jam with the score tied at 60. An FDR jammer penalty on the first pass sealed the deal and La Racaille picked up 25 to win 85-60. In the other semifinal, the Dolls and Daughters engaged in one of the hardest hitting bouts of the tournament with blockers from both teams providing their entries for hit of the tournament, while the Daughters ended up pulling away in the end (it was 26-24 at the midway point) to win the thrilling game by 28 (68-40).

Finals

The Dolls shook off their semifinal loss to compose themselves and come back and dominate Les Filles du Roi 136-29 in the third place game, completing an impressive tournament and earning them third place honours for the second time in three years. The historic final matchup (this year extended to two twenty minute halves) started off incredibly tight with La Racaille playing some of their best derby to keep pace with the Daughters, down only 2, 43-41 at the half. While La Racaille were able to keep pace, they could never dictate it, and eventually the relentless Daughters, who had the deepest bench in the tournament, inched ahead before pulling away for good at the end, holding on for a 103-74 victory to become the first ever two-time Beast of the East champions.

The Dolls’ Rainbow Fight (right, warming up with Santilly In Yo Face) was virtually unpassable as a blocker and unstoppable as a jammer. (Photo by Joe Mac)

NERD’S PICKS

MVP: Rainbow Fight (Death Track Dolls)

The continued development and depth of the Slaughter Daughters knocks Hanna Murphy (formerly Semi-Precious) off the perch she’s held for the past two years. Not that she’s not still worthy, but the play of skaters like Eh Nihilator (finals MVP), Margaret Choke, Da Big Block, Sister Disaster and others have risen to a more equal level (no doubt pulled up by the continuous excellence of Murphy). And certainly a few other skaters warrant consideration with the exceptional Mel E Juana leading the way (Sofanda Beatin looked strong early but her Vicious Dishes only played two games). But this weekend, Rainbow Fight emerged as a powerhouse in the sport (those who saw her dominate on the smaller scale of last year’s RDAC Atlantics aren’t surprised).  Virtually unpassable as a blocker/pivot, Rainbow also could win the argument for top jammer on the Dolls, if not in the tournament: handed the star whenever her team needed a shift in momentum, she consistently delivered. On a Dolls team loaded with individual talent, Rainbow Fight still managed to stand out.

Breakout Player: Miracle Whips (Les Contrabanditas)

Miracle Whips jamming against the Thames Fatales. (Photo by Joe Mac)

There were a handful of players in contention here. Beth Rave and Demanda Lashing stepped up for Les Filles du Roi in a big way, and Nana Bistouri was a huge reason behind the surprising success of the Le Rouge et Gore, while it’s easy to forget that Ova Kill is only in her second year with the TKOs, and rookie Kindree Surprise seems to be the centerpiece of a rebuilding Thames Fatales offense; however, there is no new player who had a bigger impact on her team than Miracle Whips. A star at last year’s Fresh and Furious rookie tournament in Toronto, the argument could be made that there was no single player who was more important for her team all weekend. The rebuilding Contrabanditas were constantly buoyed by the consistent play of Whips who almost single-handedly gave them a boost whenever things seemed about to get out of hand.

Le Rouge et Gore made it all the way to a quarterfinal bout against La Racaille in their first Beast. (Photo by Joe Mac)

Breakout Team: Le Rouge et Gore (Roller Derby Quebec)

For the second year in a row, this was a pretty easy selection. From their record-setting performance against the Derby Debutantes (most points scored by a single team, 159, and most combined points in a 20 minute BOE game, 191), to their stunning upset over the Smoke City Betties (58-56 in a must-win elimination game), Le Rouge et Gore proved to be a team to watch in a league on the rise. From the clutch jamming of Nana Bistouri to the relentless pounding of Mobydith to the depth provided by Dina Myth and Douche Nuken, this Rouge et Gore team more importantly displayed a spirit of perseverance that was impossible to ignore.

** For the fourth season in a row, Canuck Derby TV broadcast all of the action live, and you can relive it here at the archives.

**The Nerd would like to extend a special thanks to Montreal Roller Derby once again, and also to the crew (production and announcing) at Canuck Derby TV led by Dr. Johnny Capote.